Q:Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? A:He slipped and fell. Q2:Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? A2:He was stapled to the first monkey. Q3:Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? A3:Peer pressure.

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A witch walks into a bar and orders a drink. She gets her drink and proceeds to have a great time.

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Did you hear about the homosexual that walked out of a hospital? He just found out he was HIV positive. (ic3)

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What's oily and smells like smegma? Kevin Crummy

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What do you call a mix between a mexican and a octopus? Actually, at this moment in time it is physically and morrally impossible to do such a thing. Scientists have yet to find a way to split the genes and create a cross species. lol jk its called a moctapus.

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Knock, knock. Who's there? Boo. Boo who? Don't cry, it's only a joke. It's not that, my wife and son were just killed in a drunk driving accident.

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why did sally drown? because she had no arms or legs and couldn't swim.

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Your mother is so fat that she will likely eventually develop diabetes.

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What did the black man say to the Jewish man Nothing, because they were walking on the street and did not know each other

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't, he was hit by a car. I lied about him crossing the road.

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2 squirrels with 2 massive boners and 1 little boner.

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Subject A: Knock Knock! Subject B: *silence* Subsequently, Subject A dejectedly walks home and hangs himself.

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Knock Knock No one's home Okay, I'll come back later.

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So two guys walk into a bar and the third one ducks

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What's the difference between a Gay Man and a Straight Woman? Anatomy.

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Knock knock. Who's there? The IRS, please get out of the way.

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Your mamma's so fat she has diabetes and may die because she may not be able to loose enough weight to keep her blood sugar at a regulated number.

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i'm an inbred jew - Barras

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What did the Priest say to the kid walking home alone? Be safe.

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What did the cow say to the other cow? Moo.

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(Knock, knock) A: Who's there? B: Orange A: That is impossible. Oranges are inanimate objects and, therefore, cannot speak.

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Two hunters are out in the woods, one of them collapses on the ground and his eyes roll back in his head. His friend whips out his cell phone and calls 911. He gasps,"I think my friend is dead, what do i do?" The operator says,"calm down lets first make sure he's dead." There's a silence, then a shot. Sadly the man was not dead but extremely tired and could not carry on without rest.

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why do fat people eat so much? who cares

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Why was Uncle Monty's head damn tasty? Because he shoved it up a horses arse when it needed a shit.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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