What's worse than having a retarded baby? Not having a baby

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Why did seven eat nine? Because six was afraid of him.

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My friend was waving a stick around and yelling out spells, so walked up to him and asked "You want to be Harry Potter, don't you?" He replied excitedly "Yeah!!" So i killed his parents and locked him under the stairs.

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roses are red violets are blue me + you =the perfect 2

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Q:Why is rugby one of the safest sports to play? A: It isn't , it is in fact very dangerous.

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What's sad about a girl getting hit in the face with a shovel? The shovel got dented..

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how do you make a cat get out of a tree you shot it

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Knock Knock. Who's there? The police. You're under arrest. The police you're under arrest who? Sir, if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves. We have a warrant for your arrest. Sir if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves we have a warrant for your arrest who? Sir we are authorized to use deadly force. If you don't comply we will shoot to kill. Sir we are authorized to use deadly force if you don't comply we will shoot to kill wh-

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what do you call justin bieber having sex baby baby baby oh

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What did the alien say to the other alien? It's hard to say. They could use an inefficient form of aural analog communication, or a hyper-advanced form of telepathy. Either way, modern science hasn't brought us far enough to determine.

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A man walks into his cubicle and sits down. After a long day of work, he goes home and happens to die whilst eating dinner.

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why did the teacher quit her job and become a musician? Because her class was very mean to her and growing up she had always wanted to play music

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a man walks into a bar... he was shot to death because he was a slave during the 1910s

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Why did the pumpkin when orange is not a letter in Spanish? Because moon shoes are der milf

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If u give brandon a stick he will most likely poke u

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Two guys fight over a girl. The girl gets up from under them.

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Q:why did jimmy fall of a swing? A:Because someone threw a fridge at him

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Why did the blonde run into a screen door? Because screen doors are difficult to see when one is running at full speed

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How do you find the richest person in Mexico? You get the census of income per citizen and see who is at the top.

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An old asian woman is driving down the freeway a drunk driver merges into her lane. Everyone is ok because she keeps a safe distance behind.

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Knock Knock Who's There Mailman Mailman who? Sir, I don't have time for this, take your mail.

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whats the difference between an orange and a dead baby? one is a tasty treat and the other is an orange

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Q. I look in a mirror. What do I see? A.My reflection

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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