Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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The boy gets shot in the face, he then dies of childhood obesity.

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Why does Snoop Dog carry an umbrella? For rain.

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Why is Joel always with Jamie? Because her incorrectly positioned eyes prevent her from seeing the true Joel.

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Why did Dracula cross the road? To get to the other unbitten virgin.

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How do you make a baby stop crying for the rest of its life? Shoot it in the face.

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Q: what's worse then stubing yout toe? A: getting raped by godzilla

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whats then difference between a jew and a pizza ? A pizza doesnt scream when its put in the oven .

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2 men were in a bar, One was talking to the other, "I was walking down the street someone fell." "ha" "isis it true?" "What" "isis" and a bomb went off and they all died

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Why did Sarah fall off the swing? She got shot in the head by her drunk step-dad.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Banana. Banana who? I'm a talking banana; what more do you want from me?

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Ben: do you want to hear a joke. jack: yh go on then, i bet its funny. Ben: Your future.

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A blonde takes a test. She scores higher than her Asian friend.

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Scenario: Two guys are out hunting. Two guys are walking and a one falls down. The other calls 911 and the guy still standing asks what to do. The person at the hospital told him to make sure his friend was dead, then heard a gunshot. The guy who called said "Now what do I do?"

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Go away still nothing to see

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How do you steal candy from a baby? You ask nicely.

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What's worse than anti-jokes? The holocaust.

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Gentlemen, when she says no, she always means yes. Unless, of course, your rhetoric is of a sexual nature.

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"I vant to blood your suck!" warned Darcula.

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Why didn't Joey play with the other kids on the playground? Answer: He was dead

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what happened to the black man that fell of the bridge? he drowned due to the fact the african-americans do not swim very well.

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A man name Bill works 12 hours a day at a warehouse, almost everyday a week. It is a hard job but Bill does it to support his beautiful wife of many years. Bill thinks the long hard days are worth every moment he gets to spend with her. One night, after a hard day, he comes home to find another man in bed with his wife. Bill begins to sob and yell "I work 12 hours a day at a warehouse....." His wife yells back. "We already read this part, get to the punchline".

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What's sad about a girl getting hit in the face with a shovel? The shovel got dented..

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what is worse than throwing a dead baby off a cliff? catching one with a pitchfork!!!!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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