How many pairs of underwear do I own? Seventy-nine.

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What do you call a man with a spade on his head? Doug

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who is an indian that can not shoot a bow and arrow? David

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What's worse than seeing Helen Keller behind the wheel of a car? Being run over by Helen Keller.

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A man walks into a bar with a giant banana as a head and the bartender asks why he has a giant banana as a head and the man says get me a drink and i will explain, the bartender got the man a drink and he started to explain why, so i found this real nice golden lamp and i rubbed it next thing you know this genie pops out and he said i get three wishes the first one he wishes for unlimited wealth with a snap of the genies fingers the wish came true next he wished to be the most handsome man ever with a spin and a snap the wish came true but this is where it went wrong, I said to the genie and i cant believe he got me with this one (because genies always put a twist on things) i said: i wish for my head to be a banana

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YOU KNOW WHO ELSE LOVED AND NURTURED ME THROUGH MY CHILDHOOD YEARS? MY MOM.

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Old Macdonald had dyslexia IE IE O

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What do you call a gay kid, a horrible singer, and has long hair for a guy? Justin Bieber

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Q: What's worse than a baby nailed to a tree? A: Ten babies nailed to eleven trees.

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What's the relationship between a frog and a building? They have nothing to do with each other so stop trying to figure out this query.

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I don't really like holocaust jokes because my grandpa was in it. Yeah he was drunk and fell off his guard tower.

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What did the girl say before she jumped a bridge? "Do you think I can jump off this bridge?"

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What did the shit covered people licking each others scrotums call themselves? The Aristocrats

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Once upon a time, there were two brothers jumping on a bed. The one stopped because the other fell off the bead and died.

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What's worse than a dead baby? What a sick question. Most would argue that nothing is worse than the death of an infant.

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Why did the boy fall of the swing? He had no arms or legs

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Twitter: @TotalJokes: "So it's been 11 years since the planes hit the world trade centre, time really does fly by."

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there are three women witch one is married? the one with the ring on its finger

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what did the sock say to the shoe? Get your tongue off me.

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If the goverment wants us to be eco friendly then why are the eco friendly cars so expensive?

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Q: Men are always very careful to have penises. Why don't women care enough to have them? A: That's a very good question.

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Two muffins are sitting in an oven. They then proceed to bake into tasty pastries which are then eaten for snacks or maybe a light breakfast.

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On a scale of 1 to Chris Brown how angry are you?

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Why can't basketball players play hockey? Because hockey and basketball season occur at the same time.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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