- Anti Joke

My friend was waving a stick around and yelling out spells, so walked up to him and asked "You want to be Harry Potter, don't you?" He replied excitedly "Yeah!!" So i killed his parents and locked him under the stairs.

Why did the little kid drop his ice cream? ...... Because he was startled by the pedophiles penis being shoved up his ass.

What's worse than aids? Being a virgin.

A man walks into a shop and picks up some items for his party. He walks out of the shop without paying for the items. The police are promptly called and the man receives a 4 year sentence in prison for shoplifting.

Four blondes began their road trip from NYC to Europe and promptly drowned.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was trying to escape the evil villains in giant mech suits.

Wayne Rooney's face and intelligence.

there once was a man named china who got stuck in yo mamas vagina he escaped through her butthole minus her butt mole and then died a horrible and painful death

A farmer accidentally trips his wife. She falls down the stairs and the farmer is quickly arrested for murder.

Why can't Michael Jackson play chess? Because he is no longer alive.

Did you hear the joke about the man and the serial killer? Neither did the man since he was stabbed repeatedly and thrown into the bottom of a lake.

A man stumbles up to the only other patron in a bar and asks if he could buy him a drink. "Why of course," comes the reply. The first man then asks: "Where are you from?" "I'm from Ireland," replies the second man. The first man responds: "You don't say, I'm from Ireland too! Let's have another round to Ireland." "Of course," replies the second man. I'm curious, the first man then asks: "Where in Ireland are you from?" "Dublin," comes the reply. "I can't believe it," says the first man. "I'm from Dublin too! Let's have another drink to Dublin." "Of course," replies the second man. Curiosity again strikes and the first man asks: "What school did you go to?" "Saint Mary's," replies the second man, "I graduated in '62." "This is unbelievable!", the first man says. "I went to Saint Mary's and I graduated in '62, too!" About that time in comes one of the regulars and sits down at the bar. "What's been going on?" he asks the bartender. "Nothing much," replies the bartender. "The O'Kinly twins are drunk again."

how do you make kindergarteners unhappy? you taze them.

Why did the chicken cross the road? It had gotten out of its coop.

There was an old lady who swallowed a fly. But everything turned out alright, as the fly was dissolved by stomach acid.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops

What's the difference between a panda and a baby? I don't have a baby in my freezer

What did Bob say at Fred's house? "I know where Fred lives."

Why did Bill correct Matt when he called him Jim? Because that wasn't his name.

Q: What did the police officer tell the man without a shirt on? A: Put a shirt on.

An Anthony eats a juicy pickle.

why did victor have a tube on his neck he was helping james with security

What's worse than being dead? Nothing.

what's the difference between a pound of liver and vomit? £3.24

You can pick your friends, you can pick your nose, but you can't divide by zero.