what do you say to your girlfriend just after the best sex you ever had? I really got great value for money tonight with my prostitute sweety. You should have been there

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Q. What do cows and grass have in common? A. They both moo, except for grass ????????????

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How many mentally challenged beings does it take to screw in a light bulb? Well one couldn't do it so adding more to the equation will only make it worse sir.

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what's worse than falling and scraping your knee? living within a 10 mile radius of a Japanese nuclear reactor

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The way I see it, you are pretty lucky I am a tough guy, the kind you like. Anyway you where really wondering if I ever refer myself as a boy? Sigh, I mean I AM A BOY! WHAT? WHAT? Savage jokes? What jokes?

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What did the priest tell his son? Nothing, priests can't have children.

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Q: How do you make an onion cry? A: You can't, it's an onion.

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Why did the boy drop his ice-cream? He was shot in the back, knifed in the face, kicked in the groin, poo'd on by an alpaka, had frogs stapled to his face, his hair burnt off, pushed off a cliff, eaten by a scorpian, lost his arms legs and eyeballs, squashed by a hippo, ran over by a buss, truck and cement mixer, had cement poured on his frogs (that were stapled to his face), became morbidly obese, was raped by a chicken, was served as sauce at an italian resturant, was done by his mother's father's grandson, broke both of his detatched legs, crashed his car, went into a time machine and was crushed by a stegosaurous, had a lemon squesed in his detatched eyes, got high on cokeawana, was crushed to death by a garbage disposer and was rejected by the hobo at the shelter? no, actually, he tripped

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Who jumps the highest in basketball? The mascot because he has a trampoline.

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What do you call a mexican who works at a landscaping business? A hard working man who is trying to provide money for his family

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What did the black man say when a blond walked into the bar? " Hi Molly"

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Four blondes began their road trip from NYC to Europe and promptly drowned.

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there's a worm in my lime at least it doesn't have scurvy

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A duck walks into a bar. The bartender asks the duck "What'll it be?" The duck doesn't respond because it's a duck and it can't talk.

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Q: What's purple and eats desks. A: My dog.

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Roses are blue Violets are red It's fascinating what genetic engineering can do

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What did the boy with no arms or legs get for his birthday? A bike

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What did the black man buy at the store? Nothing he has no money

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What do you call a Muslim flying a plane? A pilot you racist! Jk a terrorist

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what did a poor guys get for christmast ? brain tumor.

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You can pick your friends, you can pick your nose, but you can't divide by zero.

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Why was Helen Keller a bad driver? She was blind.

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What happens when you cut down a tree? It falls over.

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Ernie: "Hey Jim, how many licks does it take to get to the tootsie roll center of a tootsie pop?" Jim then breaks down and cries deeply at Ernie's question as the fact that he was born without a tongue continues to slowly tear him apart.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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