why doesnt john lipka have a job? because the unemployment rate is high these days.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

what did the whale say when he came out of the water? BLAHHRRAHAHHAAARRRAER

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get shrgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why can't you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom? Because they're extinct.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What's the only thing better than winning a gold medal in the special olympics? Not being retarded.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Two pen state administrators walk into a butt

thumb_up thumb_down +6

-Why was six afraid of seven? -Because seven's a rapist

thumb_up thumb_down +6

How many wheelchair users does it take to change a light bulb? - They are not physically capable

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Haikus are easy But sometimes they don't make sense Refrigerator

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why did Hitler kill six million Jews? Why not? --ZeNaziGermanDoctor

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Whats red and bad for your teeth??? A brick!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What do retards eat for lunch? Grilled Cheese

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why can't you lie to atoms? Because they make up everything!

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why was the man upset? Both sides of his pillow were warm.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why did Fred fall off the bike? He was a shoe.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Rose's are red, violet's are blue. Rose's die and viloets are more purple.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Fight fire with with fire! That would be impossible, it'd just make the fire bigger. And probably kill you.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

How do u get a baby to stop crawling in circles? Nail its other hand to the floor

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Because the tractor hadn't seen the chicken.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

How do you find your way out of the impossible maze? You don't.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

A duck walks into a 7-11 and says "Give me some Chap-stick, and put it on my bill!" But the cash register attendee doesn't speak English and cannot understand him. He does, however, question whether his God is punishing him because, as all people know, ducks cannot speak. However, this hallucination must be punishment for a horrid misdeed. The employee breaks down into tears and begins reciting a prayer. The duck, slightly miffed, walks out, pondering why he'd need Chap-stick anyway, since he has no lips.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

How do you make a little boy cry? Cut off his legs.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

A man found a magic lamp. He rubbed it and a genie emerged from the lamp. The genie asked what his new master's wishes were. The man wished for asthma.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops