Your momma is so fat that she's developed a cardiovascular disease and has 5 weeks to live

When the poop hits the fan and you walk in with your pants around your ankles, it's a bad sign!

guess what? WHAT? Idk.

Q. What's yellow and sour? A. Not a banana

Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Living in Africa.

How do you make a grown man cry? Fling a rubber band at him.

I woke up this morning and ran five miles. I am proud of myself for engaging in such a healthy lifestyle.

Whats worse than stubbing your toe? Getting shot.

If there's something strange in your neighborhood. Who ya gonna call? The Police.

What's worse than having AIDS? A piano falling on your left middle finger.

What's hot and cold at the same time? Hotcold.

How high is the grass in Germany? Approximately the same height as the grass in America.

A man walks into a bar. On the way home, he is driving, careers off the road and crashes. Lesson here. Don't walk into poles

Why did the rooster cross the road? To go play with the other roosters.

Why was the boy put on his socks? So he wouldn't get blisters.

What do you call a dog with 3 legs? Just because it has 3 legs dosnt mean you have to call it anything different

What would you call Shaquille O'Neal if he was on the moon? Shaquille O'Neal, or any nickname you may have for him.

Why couldn't Suzie put on her boots? Because she got her legs amputated.

What did the rock say to the tree. It didn't say anything, rocks don't talk.

Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? At age two, she contracted an illness that left her blind, deaf, unable to speak, and was considered backwards of intelligence. She lived in a dark and hopeless world of her own, rendering her unable to do anything, let alone drive.

Why didn't Pat's grandma go to his birthday party? Because she died last night

whats white? everything thats not black, yellow, pink, red, blue, orange, purple, green, indigo, turquiose, grey, brown, khaki, gols, silver, bronze.

There were 2 strawberries sitting in a bathtub One strawberry said "Hey can you please pass the soap? The other strawberry replies "WHAT DO YOU THINK I AM A TYPEWRITER??"

Jack and Jill went up the hill....Just kidding, it was only Jill. Jack had no legs

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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