Roses are red and so is venus now kneel down and suck my penis:)

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A woman walks out of the kitchen.

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Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a worm in your penis.

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some dude: weed is bad Other dude: then why do they prescribe it to people are you dumb or are you stupid

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What did Timmy's mom think of his art project? Nothing, she screamed and called an ambulance because she saw that he had tripped and fallin onto a pair of scissors and they just so happened to peirce his heart.

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A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks him what he would like. The man says,"I'm feeling light today so I'll just have some H2O." The man's friend says,"I'm feeling the same. I'll have some H2O, too." The second man died.

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Q:Why was 6 afraid of seven? A:Because seven ate (eight) nine

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- i send you a friend request on facebook - okay

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what did the dog say to the mailman? "hey thanks for the mail" the mailman replies "your welcome"

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I would tell you a joke about a blunt pencil but it's pointless

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Why did the man apologize to the other man, after he had hit him with an axe? He didn't. The man was dead.

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Did you know there was a black man in my family tree? He married my aunt.

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Why did the man fall off his bike? Because he wasn't on a bike.

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a woman walks into a bar, she was quickly kicked out and escorted back to the kitchen

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What does it take to shit in a shower?? To choke on a whambar and be 90 kgs!

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What did Larry do when little Billys baseball crashed through his window? He raped and murdered little Billy for Larry has raped and murdered many children.

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What's so similar about a zombie and a black man? They are both almost human.

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why didn't Lebron James give me a fourth quarter?...he forgot his wallet at home and didn't have any spare change.

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Roses are grey. Violets are grey. There is an entire spectrum of the world I am not privy to.

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What did one bulbasaur say to one squirtle? Well, first off, pokemon are virtual animals created solely for the enjoyment of entertaining japanese children and causing seizure episodes. This fictional creation then migrated to an american tv market, still maintaining their superficial existence while continuing to promote slavery and the use of round balls that capture your problems and propagate winning through random ball throwing. They are fake, and as they are fake, the bulbasaur said "we are fake"

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why did the cow cross the road because pigs were not flying i had to write it hurts

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A girl asks her best friends: Why are you only wearing one earring? The best friends replies: Because I took the other one out.

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Q: Why did the boy fall off his bicycle? A: Because someone threw a fridge at him.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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