What do you call a person with an eye patch, no arms, and a mohawk? A person with an eye patch, no arms, and a mohawk.

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A black guy wearing a mask runs into a store, points his gun at the cashier, steals some money and runs out. The police start an investigation the following morning

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Chuck Norris never shows emotion!!!... because he is a pragmatic person and thinks in a more logical manner.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, when the bass droped, my balls did too.

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How does Helen Keller play the piano? With one hand.. She needs the other hand to sing.

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Why did the boy cry after baseball practice? He was molested by his coach.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Grass is green Orange is orange

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Why didn't Jane go to school last Thursday? It was summer. No one went to school last Thursday.

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Why does 1+1=2? Dunno, e-mail me if you do.

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Knock. Knock. Who's there? Banana. Banana who? Are you mentally handicapped? Bananas are fruit.

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Q. Why did the man walk away from his wife? A. Because he wanted to walk away from his wife.

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WANNA HERE A JOKE? (no, i purposely clicked in this joke website to simply here to fulfill my demonic internet pleasures.)

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Try this on some random person on the street... You: "Excuse me sir, do you know how to get to Farnsworth Street?" Man: "Sorry, no" You: "OK, you go straight ahead, then turn left on the second street. Continue about 200 feet, then......"

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What's clear and smells like alcohol? Probably alcohol, genius.

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What happened when the Mexican put the Popsicles in the fridge? They melted

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This episode featuring an all new nonspeaking character, who never goes on screen.

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How come the man could read the directions? Because it was right side up.

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Why did the blonde jump off the bridge? She was clinically depressed and wanted to end her life

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A black man approaches a customer service desk and asks for help. He is racially discriminated and receives no help with his problem.

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Why do ducks fly south for the winter? because its to far to waddle

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Knock Knock. Who's There? I don't know. I'm paralyzed.

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"Sticks and stones" the man said and shat on three different complex turtles

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My girlfriend said she doesn't like anti jokes and now i'm single ha ha just kidding.... she's dead

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what do u call a blonde in the libary? alexandra wallace

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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