Your mother is so fat she has to have her clothing specially ordered, this brought her to a massive credit card bill and made your entire family bankrupt.

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Hello

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A duck walks into a bar- nope, just chuck testa...

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Why did the potato cross the road? It didn't. A potato is a vegetable. It cannot walk, think or speak.

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What is yellow, has wheels, and lies on its back? A school bus in a terrible accident.

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A guy walks up to his boy and tells him, "Hey, if you don't stop masturbating you'll go blind." The boy says, "Who are you? Your not my father."

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What did batman say to robin before they got in the car Get in the car

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Q: What's worse than being stung by a bee A: The Rwandan Genocide

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Whats green and miss centowski hates a gas chamber :D lets be friends

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A blonde, redhead, and a brunette are chatting outside a casino. The brunette directs a joke towards the blonde. "What's the difference between cotton candy and pork chops?" The blonde has heard the joke prior to this encounter and correctly completes it with sign language because she is deaf.

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what did the black guy say to the white comedian? haha

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Q: what's red and covers an elementary school wall? A: a red crayon

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Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish.........That's a government lake. You're under arrest.

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I'm so punny.

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chuck norris's daughter lost her virgenatie but he got it back

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What did the paper towel say to the tomato? Nothing.

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why did the girl fall off the swing..? because she became unbalanced and the force of gravity extended on her was too great to prevent the fall

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What did the Rose Bowl say to the Fiesta Bowl? We crushed the Orange Bowl.

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Why did the bus drop his icecream? He was hit by a boy

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Why did the man fall off of his bike? Because he is a Sikh who was mistaken for a muslim after the events of 9/11. His neighbors for 5 years have turned on him and now are throwing rocks at him to alleviate their anger while he is biking to his minimum wage job as a janitor at the local burger king, trying to make money for a family that doesn't love him anymore

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Why did the old man go to the retirement home? The 75 year old man had a 45 year career in pluming and he thought it was a good time to retire after saving enough money to be happy and he could spend the rest of his life with his wife. The retirement home was also not that far away from his grandchildren so he liked the location and the home was also very clean and the workers seemed very nice. But this was just a visit to see if he liked it, he may live there soon.

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What's the difference between a cow and some dirt? They're the same except for almost everything

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Three children had stumbled upon a magic slide. There was a sign on the slide stating that what ever they shouted, they would land in a pool of it at the bottom of the slide. So the first child began sliding and shouted out "JELLY" and sure enough he landed in a large pool of jelly when he reached the bottom of the slide. The next child, so excited to go down the slide began sliding down. She shouted out "LOLLIES" and sure enough she landed in a large pool of sweets and chocolates at the bottom of the slide. Finally, the youngest girl in the group mounted the slide. As she was going down she was enjoying the slide so much that she shouted "POOS POOS" forgetting the rule of the magic slide and finally landing in a large pool of excrement.

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How do you make a dentist cry? Kill all his family.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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