Q: How to make a man who suffers from hypochondria want to kill himself? A: You take a shet on his face.

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Why was Mr. Smith always so sad at the block party? His uncle molested him as a child, when he was 10 he finally told his mother. His mother and father later fought if they should tell the police, the mother wanted him to go to jail, and the dad didn't want to ruin his family because the uncle was his brother, and the uncle had children. Right before his mother would call the police his father stabbed her in the back, mr smith saw what happened. Him and his father hid his mothers body and mr smith"s dad told him if he tells anyone about this he will kill him. Years later when mr smith was 13 he went on drugs to ease the pain, he later became an addict, and dropped out of school. He know suffers from depression and has killed all 3 of his wives. He is wanted in many middle eastern countries. So when ever he goes to sleep he has the same dream were him mom offers him pot and right before he gets it his dad stabs her in the back. So know mr smith is sad at the block party because he will kill himself later tonight.

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What is a black man's favorite food? It differs from person to person.

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How many babies does it take to cover a roof? Depends on how thinly you slice them.

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A man walks into a bar. He then walks out of the bar a while after. He then goes home and goes to bed. And then he goes to sleep. And then in an odd time travel paradox,a T-Rex arrives from the past and kills him and his entire family.

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Build a man a fire and he will be warm for a night, set a man on fire and he will be warm for the rest of his life.

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A boy and his father are in a car crash. The father dies and the son is transported to the nearest hospital. Once there, a surgeon is brought in to operate on the boy. The surgeon steps back and says "I can't operate on this boy, I haven't had enough training for such a situation." The hospital calls in another surgeon and they are more qualified for the event. Then the surgeon wakes up and realizes the boy is in critical condition. There is blood drenching his shirt and there is only seconds to operate. Suddenly, the boy wakes up and realizes he has just survived a car crash. Suddenly Leonardo DeCaprio enters with a girl. The world turns on its side and they all wake up to find them selves a victim of Inception. Then the caterpillar wakes up and realizes it has immense mental capacity, even above those of an above-average human. Then I woke up and realized I lost my job. MLIA.

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A man fell in a hole. He's dead now...

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Why did Little Timmy eat Smarties before school? Because he was hungry.

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What's the difference between Little Billy and Ice Cream? People like Ice Cream.

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Joey and Jack walked into a bar, and their friend Satan asked if they heard about Jesus, and they said No.

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Why did the lamborghini drive off the cliff? Because the person driving was a fridge

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roses are red violets are red i smell my wife nows shes dead

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What happened when the white man went to Nigiria? He turned gray.

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Why was the black man hanging from the tree? He fell and had to grab a branch.

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a dog walks into a bar....it sees the horse and starts barking which ever dentally startles and confuses the horse resulting in tables and chairs being knocked over .

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Knock Knock The guy opens the door

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what did the astronomer say when he lost his telescope? where is my telescope?

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A Black man walks into a gay bar. He has a great time because he is perfectly content with his sexuality.

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12/23/2012

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what's worse than the holocaust the man who thought of it

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what did the banana say to the orange? nothing because a banana is a fruit

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Chuck Norris was the leading role in the television show Walker, Texas Ranger.

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What did the Jew say to the German? Yes I would like fries with that.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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