what has four legs but cant walk? a dog after anal

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Your mother is so ugly that nobody wants to date her because she is hideous.

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My brother found a worm in his apple. I dared him to eat it, so he did. When he tried to swallow, the mashed up worm congealed in his throat, killing him. Later, I found out that the worm had poisonous rectum fluids. I was given the Nobel Peace prize.

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Q: why did the dog fall down the stairs? A: Because I pushed him down.

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why did the man shoot himself in the foot? because he didnt have the safety on and he had no gun handling skills.

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What did the plane say to the world Trade Center on 9/11? Nothing a plane is an object therefore cannot talk.

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How long does it take to microwave a baby? I don't know, I was to busy masterbating. GBW

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Why did Jesus cross the road? He didn't. He's dead.

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Q: What was the pirate movie rated? A: PG-13 actually because, despite the potentially graphic nature of the previews, the creators scaled down mature content so that it could reach a wider audience.

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How do you kill a blonde? There are a variety of methods, but I prefer a fine mix of insecure clowns and pepto-bismol.

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There once was a man called steve, His name was steve

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epic win?

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What do you do with a wombat? Allow it to freely express instinctive behaviour in its natural habitat.

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Q. Why did Jimmy fall off his bike? A. Because he had alzheimer's and couldn't remember how to ride a bike.

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what is my catphrase nothing I am too good to have one

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Why couldn't Hellen Keller drive? She didn't own a car.

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Why did the black man cross the road? To get to the other ____?

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I like my coffe like my women Without a Penis

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family

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What do you give a homeless person? Poop in a bottle.

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How do you stop a baby from crawling in circles? Pick it up and put it in a crib, like a responsible parent.

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Lasers are red, Tasers are blue, and I will use them, to kill you!

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Knock knock. whos their! Grammar police. We'd like to have a little chat.

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what happens if you fart to hard? A.you shit yourself

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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