A man walks into a bar with a frown on his face His dog just died

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Dear Six, Please stop spreading rumors about me and nine. I hear you two also do some pretty nasty things. Love, Seven.

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what do you call a black man in a cop car? a policeman

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he wanted to

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Why aren't there Olympics in Mexico? Idk Because everyone that can run jump or swim are already across the boarder.

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Why did Hitler commit suicide? Because he was completely depressed and overwhelmed because of the fact that he had lost World War II.

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What did the vibrator say to the condom? Watch, I'll get laid before you do!!!

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why did the black man fall down the stairs? he was blind, do to loss of vision from cancer

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Two guys walked into a pub... and they totally redecorated it! It was brilliant.

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What is pink and gets wet a tounge

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What do you call a man with no arms and legs laying at your doorstep? Matt.

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Are you ready kids "Aye Aye Captain" I Can't hear you "AYE AYE CAPTAIN" Ohh... Who lives in a pineapple under the sea "Spongebob squarepants" Absorbant and yellow and porous is he "Spongebob Squarepants" If nautical nonsense be something you wish "Spongebob Squarepants" Then drop on the deck and flop like a fish "Spongebob Squarepants" READY Spongebob squarepants Spongebob squarepants Spongebob squarepants SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS!

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Q What happened to the kid with diabetis and a one legged mom A. He got hit by a bus

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Why do sharks swim in salt water? Pepper water makes them sneeze! Why do whales swim in salt water? They can't survive in fresh water.

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"Horse walks into a bar. Bartender says It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from. So, you should probably leave."

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how did sally die? she starved because she cant get in to get the nuggets.

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how did the snake fly? it couldnt snakescant fly

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Guess what what?? chicken butt!!!!!

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why did they plain crash? cause of gravity stupid

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Why did the washing machine laugh? Because it took the piss out of the knickers!!!!! :)

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Q: What do Captain Jack Sparrow, Captain Crunch, Captain Morgan and Captain Kangaroo all have in common? A: They are all caucasian

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Ask me if I'm wearing pants. Are you wearing pants? Yeah.

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What do you do to Jewish people? You Challah at them.

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A handicapped man walks into a bar...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops