i googled who gives a fuck my name wasn't in the results

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How did Helen Keller burn the side of her face? She didn't use enough sunscreen.

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Friend's are like penguins, they both die when you stab them in the heart.

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Why is Lindsay Lohan out of prison? No, I'm asking.

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whats the difference between a jew and a boy scout? - The boy scout comes home from camp.

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what would you get if you combined a sixth grader with a machine gun? A homophobe

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—Conversation started today— My God, why have you forsaken me? Seen 6:00 PM

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What's round, has two hands, and tells time? Some fat guy I know, with a watch.

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I used to be an adventurer like you, but then I was raped by a giant scorpion...

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What happens when Terran Hansen has sex with a cow? Jesse Z.

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awkward moment when someone pretends to be Mr. Bear and stuffs up his own joke

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What's worse than putting stones in a blender? Putting a baby in a blender.

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What's one plus one? two.

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What is black and hangs from a white supremacists tree? His kids tire swing.

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Why was little David sad? His father got hit by a truck.

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Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall Humpty Dumpty had a great fall Humpty Dumpty is an egg so nobody cares

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Why did the black guy drink the kool aid? Because there was a glass of kool aid next to him and he was thirsty.

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why did the clown cross the road? to kill everyone in the dark knight midnight premiere

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How do you stop a bus from hitting you?? You throw small children to impede the progress of the bus.

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What do we call Osama? Osama

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whats worse than a baby impaled on your lawn... the universe being consumed by a giant albino ape with over sized testicles

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What did the plane say to the twin towers on 9/11 - Nothing, how do you expect planes to talk, stop hallucinating and stop with the drugs

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Why does the girl continue to cry repetently everyday? Because she found out she was diagnosed with terminal cancer.

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Knock knock. The door was not answered because, rather than rapping upon the door with his knuckles twice consecutively, Joseph simply said the onomatopoeia verbs vocally. He intended to wish his neighbor and dear friend of twenty years the best of luck with his current situation, as his neighbor had been recently divorced from a marriage of forty-eight years. Joseph then walked home, because intruding upon his friend's privacy would have befuddled him even further.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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