Someone offers your friend one of two things he say's "choose witch one you want" your friends asks you and you say "if i were you, i'd be ugly"

Why is Apple so successful? Well, that is not a question that can be answered simply. Many factors are involved in this, including but not limited to marketing, customer support, and smart business strategy. For more information, please visit Apple's website.

why was the jew shaking hands with a nazi? they realized their differences and were bonding.

What come after 69? Time for you to get a watch

In a joke book: So a man walks into a bar. Suddenlly the universe around the author crack. Unable to sustain the infinite potential of punchlines, the author tumbles through an empty void amongst shards of his broken reality.

What's worse than having a gay friend? 9/11.

what has 2 legs and bleeds? Half a dog.

Whats red and smells like blue paint? Red Paint.

Why was the Muslim crying? Because his brother got hit by a bus.

How many apples does it take to keep the doctor away? 1 if you throw it hard enough! haha

Q: What are the best kind of jokes? A: The funny ones.

a pope and priest walk into a bar what's the first thing they say? OUCH my head

You know you're a redneck when you come from a rural area and behave as such.

What do you call a gay dinosaur? Megasoreass What do you call a lesbian dinosaur? Lickalottapuss What dou you call a gay dinosaurs dog? Megasoreass Rex

What did the dog say when the tiger bit him? Nothing. Dogs don't talk.

What do you call a man with no arms? Disabled... some people can be so cruel.

whats worse than getting bit by a tick. getting bit by a deer tick that as lyme disease.

There was a golfer at the field where people usually golf. he had a golf club. so did the man next to him. The man i spoke of first hit the guy that was next to him with a golf club. Why? because he was angry at the man for shoving socks down his daughters throat and extracted her eyes with a melon scooper. This should not be humorous, the girl got blood and eye juice on her fathers new shoes when she came home.

What is worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding Barney the purple dildo!

What did the pineapple say to the orange? Nothing; Neither a pineapple nor an orange contains the necessary muscles to produce speech.

Why did the dog cross the road? Because he saw another dog

Two muffins are in an oven. They say nothing, muffins are inanimate objects and therefore cannot talk.

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Does Fall come before winter? There is no defiant answer due to the fact that all seasons are in a cycle and our race has no answer to which season happened first on Earth.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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