Why is the dog in the driver seat? Why is there birds making you filet mignon? Why is your toe blue? I don't know the answer. Go talk to your doctor

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What is Sally's favorite flavor ice cream? She can't eat ice cream, she's lacktose and tollerant.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says "Why the long face?" The horse says "I have Cancer."

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Q: What is brown and sticky and often found in the grass? A: A stick.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? "I have a gambling problem."

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Roses are red, my binoculars are blue. When your window's open, i'm watching you.

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What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot, you racist bastard.

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The boy gets shot in the face, he then dies of childhood obesity.

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What do you get when you cross an elephant with a giraffe? A really f*cked up hybrid.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was trying to commit suicide through vehicular manslaughter and knew that the average human being would not be able to stop before it was too late.

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Variants: :) I will always assist you in whatever you want. :( I want to kill you all by myself! Sense? Non? Fuck? Mind? Fission Mailed? Impossible Mission.

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A man asked a horse "Why such a long face?" The Horse replies "My entire family just died in a plane crash."

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What do you call a fat guy? A fata*s mothaf*cka

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What do you call a clown with no sense of humor? Unemployed.

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What's Hitler's favorite drink? Jews (meaning juice)

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Fruit loops.

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What do you call 5 black people being killed in a car crash? A terrible incident

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What's gay black & Jewish? The Ku Klux Klan

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When life gives you melons you may be dyslexic.

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A man walks into a butchers and asks for a loaf of bread the butcher replies " no im a butcher" The man says " its ok my bikes outside"

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Why did the girl fall off of her highchair? Her father threw an axe at her.

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A Duck, a Mexican guy and Helen Keller walk into a bar. The bartender asks "What do each of you want?" The duck doesn't respond because is is a duck. The Mexican guy doesn't respond because he doesn't know English that well. Helen Keller does't respond because she is dead.

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What does a lonely man do on opposite day? I don't know. Why should we know what he does, that is both weird and illegal. Stalking is a serious crime and should not be used. We do not know what he does on normal days, thus we cannot come to a conclusion to this question. However, I do hypothesize that he must be social on this day because this is the opposite of lonely.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He had escaped from his farm and didn't understand the laws of jaywalking.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops