"Did you fall from heaven?...Cause your face is really messed up."

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when life gives you lemons you make lemonade when life gives you a homisidle brige you clearly have done something to make life angery

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What did the salami say to the ham? Nothing; meat can not talk

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My dad calls me a son of a bitch and I'm like "hey! You married her"

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What is white and black and red all over.

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How many kleptomaniacs does t take to screw in a lightbulb? What lightbulb?

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the lesbian's house. Knock knock. Who's there? The chicken.

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What`s that CREAM that comes out of you when your mom puts a WHIP on you with a switch? WHIP CREAM!

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Whats black and blue and red all over? A housewife that was recently abused by her alcoholic wife. (from will c. and jack f.)

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When life gives you lemons, Life isn't actually a person so saying that would be irrelevant

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It was commiting suicide.

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Why does everybody hates Justin Bieber? Just leave that girl alone!

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Yo momma is so fat, when she wears a bathing suit, people are like, wow, that woman is fat.

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A horse walks into a bar, the barman says why the long face, the horse says, my dad died this morning.

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I just had major Deja Vu... Cool, Brett. No one cares.

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Why did god make women? Because women are equally important when it comes to the birth to maintain or species.

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Whats black and yellow and is funny when its falling off a cliff? A bus full of niggers.

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What's white and can't climb trees? Yogurt

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whats long hard and full of seamen? a submarine.

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You always hear of the 9/11 stories where people who work in the World Trade Centers were late that day or home sick or whatever. My mom also worked there. It was a normal morning, got up to make us breakfast, got us to school on time, the whole bit. After having to do all that stuff, she actually got to work on time, and she died in the attack.

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Q: What's the biggest lie ever? A: Saying you read the Terms of Service

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Midgets' mouths are perfect height for, kissing other midgets.

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are you from tennesse? cuase you sure look like a f u c k e d up redneck

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Situation: 2 cows eating grass on a warm Sunday night. Question: Why does 9+4=3 1/2? Answer: 69!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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