What's just not right? Left

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What doesn't kill you leaves you in a coma.

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An astronaut and a cosmonaut are sitting in a bar, discussing who was better. The cosmonaut says, "We Russians were the first people in space!" The astronaut says, "That may be true, but we were the first to land on the moon my friend." The cosmonaut turns back to the astronaut and says, "Yes, but we shall be then first to ever land on the Sun!" So, the astronaut skeptically asks, "And how do you intend to do that?" The cosmonaut replies, "Simple.......we will go at night." Thank you to David Cross

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If you spell "ChuckNorris" in scrabble, you get 22 points.

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Two jews walk into a bar. They drank beer and shot some pool and had a good time.

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-Knock Knock -Who's there? -It's just Linda from nextdoor. -Oh hi Linda come on in.

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what do you get when you cross an ant with toni? ANTONI

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What's big, black, and impossible to swallow? A parking lot. Among many other things.

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What do you call cheese that you don't own? Cheese.

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What's the best example of an anti-joke? This one.

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Why did the black man scream in church? He felt like it.

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What starts with a J, and burned in the oven? My Jumbalaya, i left it in for too long...

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Kid A:We're home alone, you know what that means. Kid B:Cover ourselves in vaseline and slide around like slugs on the kitchen floor? Kid A:Yes

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? She has no arms.

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How did the failing slut get an A -she studied really hard

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Why did the little boy let go of his balloon? Because I was raping his face.

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I'm rubber and you're glue, neither one of us say anything because inanimate objects can't talk.

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A man looks both ways before crossing the street. He gets hit by an airplane.

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knock knock WHO'S THERE?! ARE YOU A SEX CRIMINAL?! NO ONE WANTS TO DO THAT TO YOU MUM!

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The only positive thing in my life, is the HIV test! Lymmel

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whats better than 1,000,000 dollars? 1,000,001 dollars

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What is worse than the holocaust paying taxes

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I still remember the last thing my grandfather said before he kicked the bucket. He said: "Hey, I wonder how far I can kick this bucket."

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Joseph Coney could die... or worse... he could do anything but that....

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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