Are you ready kids "Aye Aye Captain" I Can't hear you "AYE AYE CAPTAIN" Ohh... Who lives in a pineapple under the sea "Spongebob squarepants" Absorbant and yellow and porous is he "Spongebob Squarepants" If nautical nonsense be something you wish "Spongebob Squarepants" Then drop on the deck and flop like a fish "Spongebob Squarepants" READY Spongebob squarepants Spongebob squarepants Spongebob squarepants SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS!

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A black guy, a Jew and a Mexican walked into a bar...so I didn't....not because of their race but because I had already spent all of my money at the gay bar.

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Two friends are arguing over who is the best pie maker. '' I've made pumpkin, apple, peach, cherry, blueberry, and sweet potato!" " Yeah well I've made all of those AND pecan!'' ''Yeah well have you ever made boysenberry pie?!" "No! What the hell!" *in a calm tone* " Yeah, me neither."

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A guy walks into a psychiatrist's office covered only in Saran Wrap. He asks the doctor, "The strip of metal teeth is missing from the box, so could I borrow your scissors?"

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. . I am a whale

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Why did the girl call suicide hotline? Cuz he wanted to kill herself.

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What did the blind man say to his wife? -would you mind helping me upstairs, for I cannot see.

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Once upon a time there was a man that was exercising and he pulled a muscle and had to have his arm removed. The end.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor?

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what did one apple say to another apple nothing apples cant talk

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Q: You know what never gets old? A: The kids in a school shooting

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What did the black boy wear for Halloween? A costume.

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Smoke Day, Every Weed.

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How many nazis does it take to kill 1.2billion Jews? No one cares anymore it was 60 years ago \(._.\) (/._.)/

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Your mom is so fat her daily calorie intake is dangerously above the recommended 2000 per day.

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Why was the mohel touching the little boy's penis? Because that's his job!

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A person affected by Alzheimer's is asked a knock knock question- Knock Knock Who's there? Boo Wait what are we doing again?

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Roses are red... Violets are blue... I have Alzheimers... CHEESE ON TOAST

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Q: What's worse than a baby nailed to a tree? A: Ten babies nailed to eleven trees.

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what did one computer say to the other .........

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why do ducks have webbed feet? to stomp out fires. why do elephants have flat feet? to stomp out the burining ducks.

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What's the difference between Marvin Gay and George Straight. They are two different people

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A black guy walks into a bar with a dog. He is asked to leave because his dog is not on a lead.

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Cheese

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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