mirror mirror on the wall who has the most desire of them all? Matt Daly!

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A Sodium atom walks into a bar. A Chlorine atom bumps into it, taking the electron, then making a bond. Suddenly, the police come in. They arrest the Chlorine atom, of course, but they also arrest the Sodium atom. He says, "what did I do?" The policemen say, "you're too ugly to be out in public."

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What is a pirates favorite crime? Piracy, which is still a serious problem in today's society.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread!

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why did the blonde put on a coat? because she was cold.

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A white man walks into a bar. Then he gets a beer.

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A person affected by Alzheimer's is asked a knock knock question- Knock Knock Who's there? Boo Wait what are we doing again?

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Why was the mohel touching the little boy's penis? Because that's his job!

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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What is the difference between a baleen whale and a black guy? One speaks and one says EEEEEEERRRROOOOOWWOWOWOWOOWRR!

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How many nazis does it take to kill 1.2billion Jews? No one cares anymore it was 60 years ago \(._.\) (/._.)/

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What did the shit covered people licking each others scrotums call themselves? The Aristocrats

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Twitter: @TotalJokes: "So it's been 11 years since the planes hit the world trade centre, time really does fly by."

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"I'm gonna fight fire with fire!" "won't you just get more fire?" "True..."

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I asked my wife to make me a sandwich. I had forgotten she was dead.

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you go to cvs and theres a robber trying to shoot everyone and the cashier says do you have a rewards card

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What's black and white and red all over? A Nazi banner.

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What is the sun's favorite day of the week? The sun is a mass of incadescent gas and cannot feel emotions; therefore, it cannot have a favorite day of the week.

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What happened to the couple that got married? They went on their honeymoon.

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A man walks into a bar, the bartender says had a bad day the man says yes... he orders 10 shots goes home and shoots his neighbors

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you can either take the test now or on monday. (hand movement)

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What color is Michael Jackson? Pale because he's dead.

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What does Chuck Norris order at a coffee shop? Coffee.

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Q: What was the pirate movie rated? A: PG-13 actually because, despite the potentially graphic nature of the previews, the creators scaled down mature content so that it could reach a wider audience.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops