What happened when the boy got caught with his hand in the cookie jar? He gets shot in the face by Santa.

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How old is victor? Half past dead

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Go fuck yourself.

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Is it not a antijoke? When your granpa uncle or whatever used to pull out basically worthless coins out of your ears? And each time you wanted for him to drag out so many you can actually buy some bubblegum or something, the "stash" you where saving diminishes the moment you receive a new coin? Moral: Dont believe in yourself! Believe in me! Because I believe in you!

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Why did the water in the lake disappear? There was a toilet at the bottom.

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69

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Why did Jimmy not go to school? Because Jimmy, along with his family, were killed in a horrible house fire. Knock Knock? Who's there? Not Jimmy...

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What's better than rape? Consensual sex.

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A Mexican guy, a black guy, and an ISIS member walk into a bar. The black and Mexican men, realizing the potential danger in the situation quickly exit the bar and alert the proper authorities. $

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Boy 1: What comes after L? Boy 2: Elephant, elbow, elk, elementary, Elliot, Elder Scrolls? Boy 1: No. Boy 2: What is the answer? Boy 1: M

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what did the oven say to the firdge you hot baby

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I cant believe they been together after all that shit. (person ask what) and you say your buttchheeeeks:]

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whose a bitch? ian doyle's a bitch

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why was the 6 year old boy crying? his mother had just passed away from terminal cancer and his stepdad caught him crying so he kicke hm in the face and told him to man up.

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Why did the cookie go to the doctor? Because he was eaten alive!!!

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What goes about 36 miles per hour and screams? A baby attached to a ceiling fan.

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A man walked into a bar. He sat down, had a nice meal and went home relatively satisfied.

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I found an iPhone on the ground at lunch during school. I said, "Wow, I can't believe I just found an iPhone on the ground at lunch during school." Later that day, my principal gassed the kindergarten classrooms with cyanide while shouting, "GO RAIDERS!"

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Four blondes began their road trip from NYC to Europe and promptly drowned.

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Q:what do you get when you get when you cross a dog and a human A: a human-dog hybrid with AIDS

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What do you call a Mexican flying a plane? A pilot

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Why did the chicken cross the road? it was thrown

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What has ears, but can't hear, eyes, but can't see, a mouth, but can't talk, and legs, but can't walk? A deaf and blind paraplegic with an improperly functioning larynx.

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What did the orphan do on his birthday? He burned down his orphanage, he hated the place because he was severly abused.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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