How many drugs does it take for Eminem to sing in a live concert? Enough.

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Hey, what do you call an absent-minded person? I'm sorry what did you say?

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? This site.

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did you hear about the guy who got his left leg and left arm cut off? he's all right now

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Knock knock. Who's there? Not your grandma! Cause she's dead! Come to the funeral

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Knock Knock Who's there? Jehovah Witness

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Why are black people scared of chainsaws? Because the chainsaws go run nigga nigga run.

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You know what's funnier than 24? 25

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There was a blonde, brunette and red head driving in a car. The car breaks down so the three of them decide to walk. So the red head takes water bottles, the brunette takes food and the blonde took the car. The red head asked the brunette why she was taking the food, the brunette said "incase i get hungry i can eat" then the brunette asked the red head why she brought water the red head said "incase i get thirsty i can have a drink. Then the brunette asked the blonde why she brought the car the blonde said "to drive home".

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because, it realized that it was worth something in life, it had a meaning, a purpose, and a right to freedom, to go where it pleased. The chicken's first act of this freedom was to go across the street.

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Why did the chicken commit suicide? Because the numerous failed attempts of crossing over the years deemed it almost impossible, therefore, chicken could no longer see the point in life.

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What did the you know what screw this I'm sick of making these stupid jokes there all the same. Hang on hang on What did the pirate do to the dog yes This style of joking is so different I'm going to be a famous comedian oh wait there's a whole bloody website full of these. O look another one and another one and another one that knife over there looks really nice right now

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Why is Short Circuit the best movie ever made? Because it tastes like lemons

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Why did Jimmy burn the American flag? He was Canadian.

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q: what do you call it when Justin Bieber has sex? a: sex, just like everyome else calls it

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You know what they say about priests with big rosaries? I don't know, it's in Latin.

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Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get shrgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

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David Cameron

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John's life hasn't been the same since committing suicide 13 years ago.

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What do you call a group with one Jew and three Germans? Friends

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What's worse then finding a worm in your apple? Women's Rights

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What did the douche bag get for Christmas?

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Knock knock! Just kidding.

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A:You wanna here a good anti joke B:Yeah/sure A:Me too

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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