Why did the 80 year old man lose his vision? Because he recently blew his head off.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Son: "Mommy That Boy Over There Beat Me Up" Mom: Good I Like When You Suffer

thumb_up thumb_down -11

why did the kid burst into flames cause he lit himself on fire

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What is the sun's favorite day of the week? The sun is a mass of incadescent gas and cannot feel emotions; therefore, it cannot have a favorite day of the week.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What would you call the flinstones if they were black? Ni**gers

thumb_up thumb_down -11

A boy and his dad are in bed and his dad is telling him a story. And the cow told the farmer to get out of the bar. Now, what did the farmer say? Holy shit a talking cow!

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Which is worse, 9/11 or the holocaust? Biting into an apple and finding a worm.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Awesome! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> minecraftnow.us <

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Q: What is black and white, black and white, black and white? A: A Nun falling down the stairs.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

what did the home less man get for chrismas? cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What did the man say to the cat? I thought you were fake.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

why did the person cross the road? to catch the chicken

thumb_up thumb_down -11

first

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Twelve billion Nero, you puppy dog you hot blooded latino man. Why cant I control it myself?

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Have you heard of the dog that sounds like Megan fox? No Oh, well ummm apperantally there's this ummm dog that sounds like Megan fox. So ummm yeah. Pretty interesting stuff

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What's the difference between a bowl of chili and a urologist? One's hot n' spicy and the other analyzes urine. -Emo Phillips

thumb_up thumb_down -11

what do you call the quadriplegic man who went water skiing? Skip

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Who would win, Chuck Norris or a T-Rex? The T-Rex, Chuck Norris would get ripped apart like any other human-being.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why cant Helen Keller drive a bus? Cuz she's dead!

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What's up? Up Adverb: Toward the sky or a higher position. Preposition: From a lower to a higher point on (something); upward along: "I climbed up a flight of steps". Adjective: Directed or moving toward a higher place or position: "the up escalator". Noun: A period of good fortune. Verb: Do something abruptly or boldly: "she upped and left him". Synonyms: adverb. upward - upwards - aloft - above - upstairs - overhead preposition. on - upon - over - along - with adjective. rising noun. ascent - rise - upgrade verb. raise - enhance - increase - lift - rise

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why can cats jump so high? Cats leg muscles are different then ours. They work kind of like springs that build up energy and then release suddenly. Its kind of like a budgie cord. This gives them the ability to jump so high. If humans were built the same way, they could easily jump up on a one-story roof.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Knock knock. Who's there? Insurance. Insurance who? I'm sorry, sir; we can't fix your liver because you don't have any insurance.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What did one computer say to the other? 01001111 01100010 01110110 01101001 01101111 01110101 01110011 0100000 01100010 01101001 01101110 01100001 01110010 01111001 0100000 01101001 01110011 0100000 01101111 01100010 01110110 01101001 01101111 01110101 01110011

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Myth: Everyone but redheads has a soul. Fact: No one has a soul.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops