What did the traffic light say to the car? Bye.

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Did you know that there is a species of rodent capable of jumping higher than an average three-story building? This is due to its muscular hind legs and the fact that the average three-story building cannot jump.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Sunflowers are yellow, Daises are white.

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Two rolls are hanging on a wall..... On falls down and the other ones name is Erwin

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Why did the black man bleed to death? He was stabbed, but he bled to death because his doctor had just prescribed him some blood-thinners for his serious headaches.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, my life didn't start, until I met you! :) Megan _____

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How do you kill a retard? Give him a knife and say "who's special?"

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says why the long face? The horse says my mom died from cancer

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Why wasn't the cab driver sent to prison after bombing the school? It was a suicide bombing.

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Your momma is so fat when she heard about the quater pounder she thought it was for a quarter.

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What's worse than watching paint dry or grass grow? Watching paint dry on grass.

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Two men enter a room. Two men and a baby leave the room...

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what looks like a banana? a penis

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Q: what happens when Justin Bieber walks into bar? A: three things, blood on the bar floor, another vister at the celebrity hospital, and Justin Bieber with knifes and darts stuck in his chest!

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Why did they choose Madonna to perform in the halftime show? Because she might die soon.

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Q: How do you make a five year cry twice? A: There are many ways, as children are generally not that adept at controlling their emotions. Loud noises, threats of violence, images of scary monsters... those tend to work. Be sure to let them stop crying before making them cry again, otherwise you will have only made them cry once.

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What was the only thing the little boy from tanzania had? AIDS.

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Why don't some black men have jobs? Because they won't work

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what did the man living in the box buy with his new found money? A bigger box.

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roses are red violets are blue i am retarded i like pancakes

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Teacher:What is the outer layer of a tree? Dog:Bark. Teacher: What is the square root of 69? Dog:8.30662386

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How did the boys sunglasses fall off his face? He was drop kicked.

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What is the similarity between an elephant and a grape? Absolutely nothing. One is an animal, while the other is a fruit.

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What's the deal with airline food? Food tastes different on an airplane. The atmosphere dries out your nose, the air pressure numbs 1/3 of your taste buds, and low humidity levels give you cotton mouth. These factors cause the food to taste worse than it normally would.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops