What would George Washington do if he was able to talk to all of America? Ask them to dig him up.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What happened when the Asian girl got a B on her report card? She committed suicide

thumb_up thumb_down -12

I've always hated people saying "last one there is a rotten egg" because don't you want to be a rotten egg so you don't get eaten?

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What's the difference between Colonel Sanders and a barrel of olives? Colonel Sanders isn't in a barrel.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What did the french toast say to the french fry? I don't know, I don't speak french.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What happened to the homeless man at midnight? He took a shit on the ground

thumb_up thumb_down -12

roses are red grass is greener get in the bed and suck on my wiener

thumb_up thumb_down -12

A frog walks up to Steve, and says "Hey, Steve." Steve is terrified because a frog knows his name, and is walking.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words are merely the smallest element of language capable of containing meaning and isolation and, as such could never directly produce the 4,000 Newtons of force per square centimetre required to break bones.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

what has 4 legs but can't walk? a paralyzed dog

thumb_up thumb_down -12

This guy went to the store because he needed potatoes. So he asked the clerk where the potatoes were at and she said "Isle fiveeeeeee!" So he went there and there were no potatoes ! hahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahhahahhahahhahahahahahahahahhahahahahahhahahahahahahahhahahahahahhahahajhahahahahhahahhahahhahahahahahahhaahhahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahhahahhahahahahhaahhahahahahahahahahahhahaahhahahahahahahaahhahahahahahhahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahhaahhahaahahahahahhhhahha

thumb_up thumb_down -12

NEVER

thumb_up thumb_down -12

whats the differnece between a bag of dead babies and a ferarri? nothing ill never have either

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What's worse than a dead baby? Two dead babies. What's worse than that? Two dead babies nailed to a tree. What's worse than that? Two dead trees naild to a baby.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why was Michael Jackson so bad at dancing? Because he had a broken leg.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Three blind mice go into a pub, but they are unaware of their surroundings so to derive humour from it would be exploitative.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Whats do Hispanics and Blacks have in common? They are both stereo-typically defined and thus the subject of many popular jokes.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Yo mama so fat she at the rest of this joke.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

that awkward moment when there is no candy in the van.....

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What do you call a chicken who eats chicken. Cannibal

thumb_up thumb_down -12

wh did a man all of his bike? It was a wet and slippery day, he had a lack of control and concentration

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What do you call 20 blondes in a freezer? dinner

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why doesn't Susie have a bike? She has no arms. Who pushed Johnny off a cliff? Definitely not Susie.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Yo momma so fat, when she steps on the scales it reads 90kg

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops