Who won the race through the underpass, the black man or the polish man? The black man as he crossed the finish line several seconds earlier.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Hello there. I am Elder Young and I with the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. What would you say if someone were to offer you peace and happiness through all of eternity?

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Whats worse then finding a worm in your apple? Watching your mum get sandwiched by two black guys...

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A stand-up comedian quits his job. He has social anxiety and can't stand the pressure.

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What do you call sad communities that have to share resources? Communists.

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How do you confuse a Mexican? Stand in the middle of a crosswalk while shouting "Cthulu will rise!" whilst looking at the sky and playing "Everybody Have Fun Tonight" by Wang Chung. Works every time.

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What's pink and fluffy? Pink fluff.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was at a crosswalk and the walk light was on.

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what happens if you drop a spoon? it sounds a lot, and it's annoying

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Why was the Jewish man celebrating cinco de mayo? Because he likes other cultures and Mexican food Except pork

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roses are red, violets are blue, open your legs and give me an hour.

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What did the whale do when he was angry? He beached himself, causing a major ecological disaster and costing the beach community thousands of dollars to return him to the water.

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Badabing.

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A man walks in to a bar and everyone screamed running out the door.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Ya. Ya Who? Dot Com.

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Knock Knock! "Use the friggin' doorbell!"

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Why did Sally failed gym class Because she couldn't do push ups

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What's Worse Than Falling Over? .......Rape.

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The closest I've been to an animal charity was when I walked past it to by myself a fur coat

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Knock knock Who's there It's a policeman informing you that your parents have been killed in a car crash. Your Dad, who has been struggling with substance abuse and depression, found out his wife had been cheating on him, and in a drunken rage, wrapped the car around a tree.

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whats worse than a chicken crossing the road 10 dead babies in a bucket

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Finn: Jake, why can your body do all of those magical things? Jake: What do you mean? Finn: Oh never mind. And they both proceeded to enjoy a delicious breakfast.

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Dan walked into a jelly fish

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Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops