You're just jealous because the voices only talk to me!

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A newly wed couple is at the beach and the wife asks for sunscreen and the man says he forgot it in the car. He goes to the car only to find that the car had been broken into. He goes to call his wife and they go back to the car only to find that the car had been stolen. #Turns out the thief broke the window to steal the car but saw the owner coming and hid behind a bush and upon the man going to call his wife he continued with his mission

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Two lions are walking down the street. One lion says to the other, "where is everybody?"

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The optimist sees the glass as half full. The pessimist sees the glass as half empty. The average American sees a half-finished glass of water that is not flavored and is therefore is not worth any reasonable person's time.

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Yo momma so old some said act ur age and she dies

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How does Steven Hawkings refresh after a long day of work? F5

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why did the guy throw his clock out the window? because he wanted to see a clock fall out the window

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What did the disabled kid do on friday? He fell down a flight of stairs.

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Whats worse than standing on lego? Rebecca black. whats worse than Rebecca Black? Justin Bieber. Whats worse than justin Bieber? Standing on a baby that isnt yours.

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how do you get a nun pregnant? have unprotected SEX with her, resulting in expulsion from her convent

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What did the father say to his son? ....nothing

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Why did the young boy fail his math test? Because he had down syndrome.

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Why did the penis cross the road? Because a man was humping the chicken

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why did the chicken cross the road? IDGAC

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Yo mama so fat she at the rest of this joke.

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Your mama's so stupid she brought syrup to the quidditch world cup because she knew there would be quaffles!

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Why did 9/11 take place? Because God hates Satan

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How do you get a elephant in a fridge? You open the fridge and put it in. How do you get a Rhino in a fridge? You take the elephant out and then put the rhino in. All the animals in the animal kingdom are at a meeting, what animal isn't there? The rhino, his in the fridge. How do you cross a river full of alligators? Walk across the allligators are at the meeting.

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:Knock Knock :Who's there? :....... No one was there because they were ding dong ditchers.

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Why couldn'nt Sally swing on the swing? Because Sally was a carrot

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What do you call a person with no arms, legs, and teeth singing in the middle of the street while spinning? I don't know.

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Why did the white kid tear up while watching a segment on slavery? He got something in his eye.

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What happens when a toad is struck by lightning? The same thing that happens to everything else.

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Naw, not now, I don't want to be assimilated, I am a bit of a wuss right now, really tired.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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