Why did the chicken cross the road? Well it all began in 1807 when a 7 foot rooster gave birth to a chicken on the sidewalk while purchasing ice cream. Scientists have been intrigued so they went into study with it and won the Nobel prize. This somehow persuaded them to lure the chicken over to the other side by using a lollipop. They threw the lollipop as the chicken crossed the road, hit it in the eye, the chicken spazzed out, jumped in front of a car, teleported to London, and is now a gynecologist.

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Yes you better be sorry, I'm gonna suck my mums p e n i s tonight! - Dylan Hodge

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Roses are red Violets are blue ... Uhhhh I don't think anyone knows the rest of this!!!!!!

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two men where hunting one man shot a deer and ate it, the other man shot the man who killed the deer and made human steaks. a day later he killed his family. and ate them with his dog. he then grabbed the deer that was left in his fridge and used it to make a fire.

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You're walking down a street and you see a man struggling to open a door, what do you do? Whatever you feel like doing.

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Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get shrgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple ? Finding an apple in your worm !!! ... Wait, what ?

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What do pebbles and Batman have in common. They're both pebbles. Except Batman.

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All dogs are mammals. All cats are mammals. Therefore, all dogs are cats.

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I walk into Tesco and wrestle an obese women for a packet of ''Mini's Biscuits''. This quarrel was over nothing but a trolley filled with them. I gradually became infuriated. Meanwhile, an employee commited suicide.

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What do you do to Jewish people? You Challah at them.

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Reality is often boring. TV is often bad for you. Reality TV is boring AND bad for you.

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Why did Johnny close the door on Sally's face? Because Johnny is a dick.

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What do Justin Bieber and corn have in common? They are both fruits. Except for the corn.

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So there is a white guy and a jewish guy walking, they find a penny on the ground who takes it? The white guy because he is in debt.

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It's a bird! No, it's a plane! No, it's actually a bird. You can see its wings flapping.

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What did the three year old say when he dropped his milk? Shitting buggery!

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If Spongebob lives in Bikini Bottom, Where is Bikini Top?

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A Muslim walks into a bar No-one survives the blast

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Why did the little girl drop her balloon? Because she was getting raped in the face.

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How many tortoises does it take to change a light bulb? One. Just don't expect it to be done quick.

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What's black, white, and red all over?? A penguin that just got hit by a truck and is now struggling to live.

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Q:Why did the Grape divorce the Prune? A:Because he was tired of Rasin kids! :D

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Before her maiden voyage, they told the Titanic she could become anything. So she became a submarine.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops