why did the man ride the helicopter,because he was hurt horrible in a car accident.

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Why did Poppy lose at sports day? Because she had a heart attack and died.

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A handicapped man walks into a bar...

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Why did the washing machine laugh? Because it took the piss out of the knickers!!!!! :)

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Q: What do Captain Jack Sparrow, Captain Crunch, Captain Morgan and Captain Kangaroo all have in common? A: They are all caucasian

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What do you do to Jewish people? You Challah at them.

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how did the snake fly? it couldnt snakescant fly

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Why did the man smell bad? He had not showered for several days

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why did they plain crash? cause of gravity stupid

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Why do sharks swim in salt water? Pepper water makes them sneeze! Why do whales swim in salt water? They can't survive in fresh water.

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Are you ready kids "Aye Aye Captain" I Can't hear you "AYE AYE CAPTAIN" Ohh... Who lives in a pineapple under the sea "Spongebob squarepants" Absorbant and yellow and porous is he "Spongebob Squarepants" If nautical nonsense be something you wish "Spongebob Squarepants" Then drop on the deck and flop like a fish "Spongebob Squarepants" READY Spongebob squarepants Spongebob squarepants Spongebob squarepants SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS!

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"Horse walks into a bar. Bartender says It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from. So, you should probably leave."

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how did sally die? she starved because she cant get in to get the nuggets.

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Q What happened to the kid with diabetis and a one legged mom A. He got hit by a bus

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Where do cows go to have fun? Cows don't have a concept of fun as such, but they would probably go to a large, sunny field full of lush, green grass with a bubbling river and plenty of shade.

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What do you call a man with no arms and legs laying at your doorstep? Matt.

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why did the black man fall down the stairs? he was blind, do to loss of vision from cancer

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Two guys walked into a pub... and they totally redecorated it! It was brilliant.

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What is pink and gets wet a tounge

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Why did the kitten cross the road? Because its owners abandoned it.

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Yo Mama so ugly I don't know how she found your dad.

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He who laughs last gathers no moss.

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Christopher Reeves walks into a bar.

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why couldnt the black man fly, becuse his master said he coudnt.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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