Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the bird fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the squirrel.

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Why did the plane crash? Because its pilot was a loaf of bread

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Q: Why do black people hate country music? A: Because every time they hear "hoe down" they think someone has shot their sister.

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Why was the wife laying on the ground crying? Because she wasn't in the kitchen making a sandwich for her husband

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Four black guys have a picnic. One of them pulls out a bag of KFC. Another pulls out some Kool Aid. The third pulls out a watermelon. The fourth pulls out a box of cookies you racist prick

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How does Batman's mom call him home for supper? Nothing. Batman's mom is dead.

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Roses are red..... violets are blue...... I have a gun get in the van

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What did the pig do when the farmer died? He just stood there cause pigs are stupid.

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Why was the boat red and sticky? A boy dropped his slurpee. What were you thinking?!

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THIS!!!!!!! IS!!!!!!!!!!!!!! SPARTA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to your house. Knock knock. Who's there? The chicken.

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Is the glass half full or half empty? The liquid in the glass is not at exact half, so that question is not answerable.

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What's the difference between a black guy and a bucket of chicken? A lot.

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Three men walked into a bar the other one ducked. SI

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Why do birds fly South in the winter? Warmer, better food sources and therefore greater chance of survival.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? One is a human being belonging to a particular religious minority and the other is a delicious Italian food favoured by English speaking western cultures. The problem with this anti-joke is that the facts are not correct, pizza was originally invented and China; however,it looked quite different then what might be considered pizza by our standards, when pizza was brought to Italy it was improved to make what we now consider pizza in modern times. While some people may consider pizza an Italian food, this would be failing to give credit to the Chinese who invented it.

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A white man and a drunken black man enters the bar, the bartender calls the cop and the black man is dragged into the police car. The black man screams YOU ARE RACIST! YOU DAMN RACISTS! The cops tell him he has been walking around the streets naked the last 2 days... Oooh... I am really sorry sir says the black man. He was forgiven and went sober forever. Moral: No moral, that is the anti moral in this anti joke...and besides I am a W class celebrity.enjoy life

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There was a blonde, brunette, and a redhead. They are spending a relaxing afternoon together as a result of being restricted to their heavy therapeutic sessions which they are constantly in need of because all three have been diagnosed with clinic depression since everyone jokes about them so much and in conclusion, they don't see each other very often.

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FRED CLEAN YOUR ROOM! Ok mom, I'm done "Nothing is cleaned" Well.. I tried

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Well, there could be several reasons. The sight of another chicken, its wondering imagination, but because chickens cannot speak, therefore, can never know the true answer.

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A guy walks into a bar, unfortunately for him, he walked in on a huge bar fight and managed to get the hell knocked out of him as he entered the door.

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Why did the student go to university? To pursue a higher education.

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A guy walks into a bar. But this was a bar like a pole, so the man ended up with a broken nose.

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how many cody's does it take to screw in a lightbulb? impossible he so stupid!!!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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