Why does Rebecca Black like Friday? Because it's the start of the weekend

thumb_up thumb_down +4

I would tell you a joke about a blunt pencil but it's pointless

thumb_up thumb_down +4

"I love you terribly!" said the girl to her new boyfriend. "You already had me chained to the bed. You didn't have to break both of my legs, Kathy Bates."

thumb_up thumb_down +4

How do you starve a black man? Take away his current food stocks, and means of income.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

a guy walks in to a bar in iraq. 10 people died because of it

thumb_up thumb_down +4

there are three types of people in this world, those who can't count, and those who can. STFU, you corny loser

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why did the chicken cross the road? It escaped.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why did the child say he had been a ubused. Answer: because he had been.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why did the boy fail the math test? He has a learning disability.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What is the difference between Acenaphthoquinone and Acetoguanamine? I don't know...

thumb_up thumb_down +4

whats the point of anti jokes? A: the point that it is no point

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Knock Knock Who's there? Jim Come on in!

thumb_up thumb_down +4

I am black. And i will beat your children. At checkers. They can be the red .

thumb_up thumb_down +4

quiz is to quizzicle as test is to test___.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Three men are stranded, mid-ocean, in a small rowboat. They realize quickly that their imminent demise is slowly creeping into the forefront of their consciousnesses. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. A problem reared it's head as it became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore and, in turn, salvation. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why did the road cross the chicken? Because Einstein said so. According to Einstein's Theory of Special Relativity, if you and the chicken were to cross the road simultaneously, your perspective, relative to the chicken, would remain unchanged. Therefore, the road would appear to move underneath the chicken, which would seem to be performing some style of polka dance.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why did the boy fall off his skateboard before running into a cross-section? Because he was shot.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What's the difference between a black man and a bench? A bench is nonsentient, generally heavier and not necessarily light-dark brown colored, whereas the black man is fully capable of thinking and usually has dark toned skin.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

A Stoner sees a bag of chips.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why can't Molly ride her bike? Because she has no arms or legs. Knock Knock Who's there? Not Molly.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

knock! knock! who's there? the police, your family died in a car crash!

thumb_up thumb_down +2

why is six afraid of seven? because seven is black

thumb_up thumb_down +2

2 moose sitting in a tree, suddenly there came a boat and landed in the tree next to them, then said one of the moose, he probably lives there

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Doctor Doctor I think I'm a dog. Sit down on the couch and tell me about it. Ok.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops