Scenario: Two guys are out hunting. Two guys are walking and a one falls down. The other calls 911 and the guy still standing asks what to do. The person at the hospital told him to make sure his friend was dead, then heard a gunshot. The guy who called said "Now what do I do?"

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Q. Why was the boy depressed? A. Because he lives in a world where apparently all girls are right.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

what do michael Jackson and little boys do in the dark alone? they turn on the flashlight

thumb_up thumb_down -7

My closet is like the wardrobe to Narnia, accept my closet isnt a portal into a magical world.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

This night was a particularly stormy one, many a crop destroyed, but the spirit of Little Jonny Harrison lived on with a shining light so strong it could emotionally blind those who may experience it's full potential. Jonny lived in Ristoville, a secluded village atop a hill. Citizens of Ristoville were frightened for there lives, all but Jonny, that is. Jonny was bullied from a young age, approximately 3 months, by his Uncle Clive, who was a Catholic Priest, full-time. Fear shined in the eyes of the normal residents, whilst, in Jonny's heart, there glowed a glow of pure hope and confidence, Jonny Harrison, was going into the storm. Jonny knew he could amount to something, if he really really tried. He has 6 years behind him, and a long life ahead, and he figured, what's the worst that could happen? He pondered this, and ultimately came to the conclusion that there will be nothing worse out there than Uncle Clive's "Magical Basement of Happiness". Jonny sat his mother down, looked her in the eye and whispered farewell. He wished his father the best wishes possible. Finally, Rosie Harrison, Jonny's sweet old Grandmother, who had been addicted to Crystal Meth for about 25 years now and been through 13 interventions and countless failed suicide attempts, opened her ears to young Jonathon's speech, he said softly in her ear, the words, "Hang in there, Gran. I know you can pull through, I may be only six but I sure as heck know how much i care for you.". The words of love echoed in her fragile little ears as Jonny walked away. He took with him a couple cartons of Apple and Blackcurrant Ribena and his Grandfather's lucky medallion and took his first step outside. He whipped out a carton of Ribena, strongly crumpled up the carton, slightly spraying pure fruit juice on his dungarees, and threw it to the drooping wet grass. He faced the towering lightning cloud and with a cry so intense, shouted, "Nothing will stop me!!". Jonny died shortly after of HIV induced AIDS. His Uncle Clive was sentence to 3 to 5 years, depending on behavior, in a high security prison for child molestation, frequent and consistant child abuse and paedophillia and smuggling Crystal Meth. Rosie Harrison died later that day.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

I'm Polish.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

ok when a fat person say he on a diet i said your on a sea food diet what evert you see you eat now get back to school John f kennedy students

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What do you get when someone tells you an anti joke? An anti joke.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

A white man, a black man, and a brown man are all in an elevator. The white man laughs "this is like the start to a racist joke or something." The other two men strangle him because he is white.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

knock knock who's there? me josh! come in.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

whats worse than catching your parents having sex? having sex with your parents

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Knock Knock Who's there? The Holocast ...

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What's the difference between Rebecca Black and your mom? Nope! Chuck Testa.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What's the same between a grape and an airplane? they both have wings but the grape doesn't

thumb_up thumb_down -7

what has balls and is long and suckible? Spaghetti

thumb_up thumb_down -7

why did the feminist cross the road? to suck a dick

thumb_up thumb_down -7

why did a guy try to rob me? because he was black.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Me: Knock Knock Mom: Who's there? Me: Jason Mom: Jason who Jason: HOW COULD YOU FORGET ME I CAN'T BELRIVE YOUR ALZHEIMER'S HAS GOTTEN THAT BAD! WHY DOES THIS HAPPEN TO ME BWAAA! *Jason sadly died short after from a bus hitting him*

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What is easier than making pie? Making cake!

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Q) Why are there no aspirin in the jungle? A) Because it would not be financially viable to attempt to sell pharmaceuticals in the largely unpopulated rainforest

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why did the catholic preist take all the little boys out in the woods? They were going on a camping trip.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

If there's something strange in your neighborhood. Who ya gonna call? The Police.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

No your aunties a joke

thumb_up thumb_down -9

OMG did you hear about the man who sky-dived from mars?!!!! No…. Me neither

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops