Brother: Where is my Guitar? Me: To the Left to The left Brother : No its not Me: Everything you own in the box to the to the left Brother : Im telling Mom Me: In the Closet Thats my stuff and if i bought please don't touch Brother: *Opens Closet* This is all Mine! Me: *Takes off headphones*? Huh? Brother: Nevermind - _ -

thumb_up thumb_down -16

how do you confuse a blonde? tap her on both shoulders

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Why couldn't Bob pick up his pen? Because a nuclear bomb just set off where he lives and it incinerated everything.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

A man is walking down the street and sees a women sat on the pavement crying, he walks over to her and asks "what's wrong?" to which the women replies "it doesn't matter" the women then walks away as she did not want to share private information with a stranger.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Why did the chicken cross the road? Well why wouldn't it?

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Why did the plane crash? Because the engine wasnt working.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Knock Knock Whos there? You You Who? Who You Oh im Jim.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

A Jew walks into a bar and says drinks are on me.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

A man dies and goes to heaven. This is an assumption based on religious faith.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What did the little boy get for Christmas? Nothing, he's Jewish

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Carlos was on the computer writing anti-jokes. They all scuked.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Hello, can I order a cheeseburger?

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Someone dies every second. That's 60 a minute. 3600 a hour. 86,400 a day. 604,800 a week. 31,536,000 a year. But thankfully- I don't live in Zimbabwe.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Q: Did you know Hellen Kellers father was a skilled craftsman? A: Neiter did she.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

"Doctor, I seem to have a large horn-like growth protruding from my nose". "Well, yes, that is because you are a rhinoceros".

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Why did the woman go out of the kitchen? She did not because she had a curse put on by a man off the streets of Greek row a Yale that said u may never leave the closest kitchen near this very spot, and it turns out that the closest kitchen was in a frat house across the street so now she is stuck in the kitchen making sandwiches for all the frat bros at this Yale frat house, So basically she was in her place

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What's black and white all over and has a mouth? A Zebra

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What does a homeless man get for Christmas? A gun to kill himself with

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What's worse than a baby dying of AIDS? It depends upon one's frame of reference. A family living in the US might consider the death of a baby by AIDS a horrible act by the gods. But to a similar family in sub-Saharan Africa, this might be a regular, albeit tragic occurrence.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Knock knock Who's there Guess who? Billy, is that you? Yeah baby I'm home! OMG!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Why was the girl crying? Because I raped her

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Did you see Helen Keller at the movie theater? I didn't either, she's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What is black and hanging from the tree in my back yard? A tire Swing.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Yo mom is so stinky that when she gets in a room every one leaves the room

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops