what is big, grey and sits in the middle of a field. A filing cabinet

why was the mother sad? her sons school was bombed by terrorists. there we no survivors

How does a black guy die? Unknown

don't take life to seriously nobody gets out alive

What did the kI'd with cancer get for Christmas? A coffin.

What worse than a hurt puppy? Two hurt puppies.

Roses are red. Violets are blue. I am epileptic. SLAWWAWASWAKHINGAGAGAGAKIHARGAVBAZSAWAWAWAWAAAAA

Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? She was a woman

Q: What does a bunny and a plum have in common? A: They're both purple except the bunny.

How do you wake up your grandmother........ You don't, she had a massive heart attack and died in her sleep

What happened to the Jew who went to France? He had a very enjoyable time and visited many of the remarkable landmarks around the country.

Roses are red They can be white too Violets are not blue They are violet

What did the vampire use to make tea? Hot water, a kettle, and some nice green tea leaves given to him by his great uncle for kwanza.

Whats worst than finding a worm in your apple? Going to antijoke.com instead of anti-joke.com

Why was Jimmy sad? Because he has a frog stapled to his forehead

What's the difference between your momma and a bucket of shit? Well, for starters your mother and a bucket of shit aren't even made of the same physical structure, and secondly, your mother is sentient while a bucket is not.

Knock Knock? Who's there? Sanderson. Sanderson who? You're boyfriend. Let me in. No, I'm a bit busy chopping up dead bodies. Come back in a bit. Oh let me help you! I like the way the blood runs out of the fresh ones!

There was 3 Men. Who had crashed their car on there way back from the Bar, All 3 of them died. Once they got to heaven, Jesus told him " The better in life you were with relationships,and staying true with one love- The better Transportation you get." Guy one got a Scooter. Guy two got a bike. And Guy 3 got a Mustang. One day, Guy 1 and 2 were on their bike and scooter. And they see Guy 3 upset. "Whats wrong? You got the best transporation in heaven!!" Guy 3 looks up at guy 1 and 2, Then says " I know I do..... But, I just seen my wife on a Skateboard."

Why did the boy drop his ice cream? He got hit by a bus.

so there is a 13 year old boy who got left home while the rest of his family was driving to colorado, so the police comes to his door, and says son your whole family has just died in a plane accident. And the boy says, but my family was driving. . . the policeman then says, i'm aware, the plane actually hit their car and only killed your family.

a priest, a rabbi, and a nun walk into a bar...and the bartender goes...what is this a joke? mr. healey

an emo girl walked into a white room

Hey I just meet you. And this is crazy, but im a Zombie. And you looks tasty!

How many blondes does it take to finish a math test? 1 if she isn't copying.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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