your mother is so heavily obese, she became one of the 60 million individuals in America who are obese today.

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Why was the house on fire? A dog peed on it.

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a sausage maker buys a box of cereal

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Man 1: Ask me if im a flower Man 2: "are you a flower?" Man 1: if i was a flower do you think i could talk? man 1 was wondering why man 2 was so uneducated

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what did the poor guy get for christmas POVERTY

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What did the Insomniac, Dyslexic Priest do? He stayed up all night wondering if there really is a Dog.

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what do call a car full of people on the side of the road? a cool explosion waiting to happen

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Why did the clown fall off the unicycle? Because I shot him in the face.

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Why do black guys have ashy elbows? Because of 9/11

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A black man in a hooded sweatshirt is sprinting down a back alley. He is trying to get into better shape by exercising and knows a shortcut to his house.

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Whats worse then finding a worm in your apple? Finding a worm in your pear.

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Subject A: Knock Knock! Subject B: *silence* Subsequently, Subject A dejectedly walks home and hangs himself.

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Why do women have boobs? So you've got something to look at while you talk to them. That's sexist... I'm sorry.

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What's black and white and red all over? A penguin in a blender.

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I road a horse to school. My friend stabbed it with a Javelin and screamed.... The horse was his Dad

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Jimmy comes home from school one day and goes to his mother. "Mommy, guess what?" "What?" "I had sex with my teacher today!" Naturally after hearing such news the mother gets appalled and tells her husband. "Well, that's my boy" he says "Now that your a man Jimmy we're going to go out and get some drinks tonight be ready in a half an hour." So they arrive at the local bar "Wait here son, you can sit down and save us a table and I'll go get the drinks ok?" "No dad I think I'll stand" "..why? What's the matter son?" "My butt hurts"

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What did Little Tommy get for chirstmas? An explanation that Santa is a lie.

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a fat kid walked up to me today at school and claimed he could do more pull ups than i. i found this very funny because i have known this boy since i was two months old, and he witnessed the day where i lost both of my arms to cancer.

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Roses are blurry so is everything else I need glasses

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Why don't flowers bite you when you pick them? Cuz they don't have a brain.

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What is big, grey, has 8 wheels, can fly, swim and walk. I dunno. Thats why I'm asking

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your mommas so fat she should be worried about getting diabetes

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All the other kids with the pumped up kicks died in a school shooting.

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What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Your face Godammit!!!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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