What do you call a black woman that's blind and has 1 leg? Handicapped

Why did billy fall off his bike? Because billy was a loaf of bread.

Knock Knock Who's there? Ken. Can I some and use your toilet, I really need a shit.

What did the lady say to the boy who's parents just died? Haha, your parents just died.

Roses are red, Violets are blue; In Soviet Russia, POEM WRITES YOU!

Kid: "Tell me about when you were young, Grandpa." Grandpa: "Oh, sonny, those were crazy times. My friends and I were out of control. We used to give each other wet-willies and funny arm. We'd play dandy-balls and legs-a-spread and penis-butt." Kid: "Sounds kind of gay, Grandpa. " Grandpa: "It was gay. Everyone was. But, back then, we were called pole-fancies. It was real, good old-fashioned "grab the nearest tree and hold on for dear life" gay, not today's fancy, featherbed, thread-count gay. People got hurt back then! Kid "That's gay." Grandpa: "Yeah, it was pretty gay "

why did the hobo want cancer so badly? he really needed a haircut

Who is the most famous black person? Michael Jackson, except he's not black.

Why didn't the boy have any pockets on? He didn't have any pants on

Beans, beans, the magical fruit. The more you eat, the more you have consumed.

Joseph Coney could die... or worse... he could do anything but that....

That was totally mean! I mean I was in no way going to say any of that to you! Especially not the last part, sorry that must have been part of the suggestion or something, I barely ever tell myself stuff like that, I mean stop it okay? I mean I totally read it and all but I was all like "I am notnot typing that" please stop it, its humiliating.

What did one muffin in an oven say to another muffin? Nothing, muffins are inanimate objects thus incapable of sppech.

Sigh, at times like this I begin to ponder what I am doing with my life. I do not look that much like some anime character thingie, she is awfully cute for a anime character though.

Nock Nock Whose there? Your mom. Stop locking your door.

If David has 40 chocolate bars and eats 35 what does David have now? Diabetes, David has diabetes.

what did the cat say to the potato? meow

How do you make a baby understand what you want? You color yourself purple, wear a yellow shirt, and do cart wheels while singing "The wheels on the bus go 'round and 'round!"

Why did the toilet paper roll down the hill? ... To get to the bottom.

roses are red, violets are blue, hes for me not for you, if by chance you take me place, ill take my fist, and smarsh your face.

Knock Knock Whos there? Knock knock? Whos there? Knock knock. WHOS IS THERE?!?!? Knock Knock is, my name is Knock Knock.

Why didn't little jimmy take out the trash? He is a rock

Knock, Knock Who's there? Bill Bill who? Bill your neighbor. Can I have some flour?

Person 1: Why can't a T-Rex clap? Person 2: BECAUSE THEIR ARMS ARE TOO SMALL! Person 1: No, because they are extinct dumbass

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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