What do you get when you mix a donkey with a bungee cord? My bouncy ass

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Why did the referee go to the zoo? He likes animals

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What's funny about anti-humor? Nothing.

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What is the difference between Switzerland and Sudan? One is in Europe the other is in Africa

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What is the difference between a jew and a boyscout? A boyscout comes home from camp.

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How did the corpse cross the road? They can't cross the road they're dead.

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What do you say to a homeless man sat in a train station? That there is a homeless shelter around the corner.

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On September 11th 2001, A worker of North twin tower man woke up to find his dog had chewed on his brand new phone. He went down stairs and realized his kitchen window had been broken. Getting ready to leave for work and saw his radio had been stolen out of his car. After finally making it to work and settling down in his office he spilled coffee on his lap. Enraged, the man yelled, "How could today get any worse!?"

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Two monkeys are sitting in a tree. One monkey looks to the other monkey and says, "I bet I can jump from this tree to the next tree without falling." The other monkey replies, "I'm sure you could. You're a monkey."

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One day, a mother was talking with her three daughters. "Mommy," the first one asked, "Why did you name me Daisy?" "Because when we took you home, a daisy petal fell on your head." "Mommy," the second one said, "Why did you name me Rose?" "Because when we took you home, a rose petal fell on your head." "MMMMBBBWWAAAAAAAAAGGGGGHHHHH!" the third daughter cried. She was born with severe cognitive damage and is incapable of coherent speech.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the chicken was trying to escape from the sad and depressing environment that surrounded him on the side he thus came from. Alas, he did not know that he would be soon hit by a drunk truck driver, who would also die, in a bright explosion of morbid flames and screams.

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What did the Apostle John say to Jesus of Nazareth? "Oh, blow it out your butthole."

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what do you get when you cross a baby and a car a baby shaped dent, and a dead baby

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Q: What do you call a vacuum that doesn't suck stuff up? A: A broken vacuum.

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There was a blonde driving a car but she was late to a meeting so she started speeding but then a police officer pulls her over. The officer asked the blonde "Do you know how fast you were going?" to which the blonde responded "Yes, I am late to a meeting" so the police gives a ticket for speeding and she ends up going late to her meeting.

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Whats worse than the Holocaust? Jews

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scraggle is in you pillow case

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What do you call a Black man with a gun ?? A black man with a gun !

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how do you call someone? use a phone

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Q:What happened after the snake tricked Adam and Eve into eating fruit from the tree of wisdom? A: Nothing, but the three of knowledge was a whole other story though. Moral Man.

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John's life hasn't been the same since committing suicide 13 years ago.

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, My vagina is Red, Im on my period.

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What did the bird say to the other bird? Nothing because birds can't talk.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm a paranoid schizophrenic and so am i

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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