What do you call a fly without wings? A walk

What is white and can't climb trees? Toothpaste.

All dogs are mammals. All cats are mammals. Therefore, all dogs are cats.

what did rishi say to jess ? GOOD ONE

An atmosphere goes into one bar. Which is pretty normal since it is roughly the regular value of the atmospheric pressure on Earth at sea level

A black man accidentally walks into a white man. They apologize to each other and carry on with the rest of their day.

How many Jehovah's Witnesses does it take to screw in a light bulb? 2. One to firmly hold the ladder and the other to cautiously screw it in. They are volunteering at the local orphanage and it is wrong to make fun of there religion. We are all different in our own special way.

a duck was clearing out his apartment when he came across a rat. the rat turned into a genie. 'i will grant you 3 wishes' said the genie. 'whats the catch?' replied the duck 'can i touch your dinkle?'

Whats Better Than Apple Pie Sweeeet Pie

A Frenchman an Italian and an American were setting in a bar drinking and talking. The Frenchman said he made love to his wife five times last night. She said if I died she would never get married again. The Italian said said he made love to his wife ten times last night and that she said if he ever died she would kill her self. They asked the American how many times he made love to his wife last night. He said I'm a widower. She died in the 9/11 attacks.

A duck walks into a 7-11 and says "Give me some Chap-stick, and put it on my bill!" But the cash register attendee doesn't speak English and cannot understand him. He does, however, question whether his God is punishing him because, as all people know, ducks cannot speak. However, this hallucination must be punishment for a horrid misdeed. The employee breaks down into tears and begins reciting a prayer. The duck, slightly miffed, walks out, pondering why he'd need Chap-stick anyway, since he has no lips.

Roses are red violets are purple what the hell happened to your ugly face

What's the hardest part of walking through a pile of dead babies? My penis.

Ask me for £1000 Can I have £1000 No get a job

Q: What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? A: Reading re-posts of classic anti jokes posted by lonely teenagers.

Why did the little girl fall off her bike? Because she didn't have any arms

If you have $5 and Chuck Norris has $5, Chuck Norris now has $10.

Kade was sad. He had finally got a girlfriend when he realized he actually liked men.

What's worse than having a retarded baby? Not having a baby

what did one ocean say to the other ocean? Nothing, They just waved.

What do you get when you mix a Refrigerator with a dog? Nothing. That would be impossible.

Why did the chicken cross the road? So it could cause traffic accidents.

Q: What do you call a dear with no eyes A: Nothing - call an animal cruelty service

Why do people carry around spoons? Because they like to do them

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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