What's the only thing better than winning a gold medal in the special olympics? Not being retarded.

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Roses are black. Violets are black. Black people are black, And you're a douche.

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What did the man think as the foul baseball flew rapidly toward his face? Oh man, I thought my tickets were to an NBA game.

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A German and an American walk into a bar. George W. Bush got hurt, but Albert Einstein didn't.

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How many kids with ADD does it take to screw in a lightbulb Wanna go ride bikes?

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Yo mama is so fat that her doctor advised her to get some exercise or risk developing a heart condition!

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Why didn't the 1 month old chicken cross the road? Because by that time it's already a Mcnugget.

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What's the difference between a bowling ball and guacamole? The guacamole is delicious with chips, and the bowling ball is just a bowling ball.

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A paralyzed person walks into a bar.

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What do you get if Justin Bieber and Miley Cyrus have a baby? The apocalypse

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Roses are Black Violets are black I am colorblind, are you to?

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What did the three best friends say to eachother? We are all best friends

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't. He flapped his wings, hovered, and the road crossed beneath him.

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What's worse than a dead baby? A dumpster full of dead babies What's worse than that? One is still alive at the bottom What's worse than that? It had to eat its way out. What's worse than that? It came back for seconds

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Pretend you are in a box and there is no way out. How do you get out? You don't

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Why didn't the man give a location of the murderer? He was murdered

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ah-ah. the proper response to an anti joke.

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A Jewish man answered his phone one day. The man on the line said he'd kill him and all his family. The Jewish man then hung up the phone and resumed his everyday life.

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A red-head, a brunette and a blond are trapped on an island 10km from civilization. The red-head swims 1.5km's, but is to tired, so she swims back to the island. The brunette swims 3km's, but is too tired, so she swims back to the island. After watching the first two fail, the blond evaluates the situation and decides that she does not possess the swimming ability required to reach the 5km point (At which swimming back to the island becomes equally as far as swimming to civilization), and instead stays on the island and creates a signal fire out of bits of debris scattered on the island, getting rescued within hours.

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What did the cow say to the Businessman? Nothing. Cows cant talk.

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An American man and a Chinese man have a conversation. The American man asks the Chinese man after a couple of minutes of speaking, "How long have you lived in the United States?" The Chinese man replies, "I moved to the United States when I was ten years old."

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When life hands me beef, I make lemon stew.

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What's brown and smells like shit? An oddly shaped birthmark on a dirty homeless man

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A apple a day keeps gramar away.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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