What's black, blue, and read all over? The newspaper.

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Whats white, fat, and looks like a horse? An albino horse who apparently has a high chance of diabetes.

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Why can't Stevie wonder read? He can. He reads braille.

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Q Whats the difference between a pich fork with watermelons and a pitch for with dead babies stuck on. A The pitchfork with the dead babies were severly shot in the kidneys and then the heart. Blake

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga in the morning You poke her face

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why was the boy sad his whole family just died in a plane crash

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Why did the man jump off the cliff? Because he suffered from chronic depression as a result of frequent drug abuse.

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what is yellow and burns? -a fire

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There was a golfer at the field where people usually golf. he had a golf club. so did the man next to him. The man i spoke of first hit the guy that was next to him with a golf club. Why? because he was angry at the man for shoving socks down his daughters throat and extracted her eyes with a melon scooper. This should not be humorous, the girl got blood and eye juice on her fathers new shoes when she came home.

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Why didn't the black man make it into heaven? No one did, there is no evidence supporting the existence of an afterlife.

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A man gets a paternity test. It's better than beating his wife senseless due to his own insecurity.

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My wife's star sign was Cancer and its quite ironic how she died really... She was attacked by a giant crab.

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what do you do when see a young girl crying on the swingset? ask her kindly to move, as you would like a turn

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Oracle horacle, you big bloated boracle!

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A Black Guy, A Rabbi, And A Mexican walk into a bar, the bartender looks up and says "Get Outta Here We're Closed!"

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Wanna hear a joke about my penis? Oh wait I shouldn't tell you, it's too long

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A man walks into a bar and probably sustains serious head injuries and possibly a concussion as most bars are usually made out of solid metals such as iron or steel and is therefore not permitted by his doctor to engage in sports or other rigorous activities for an allotted period of time depending on the degree of his injury.

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Know what's worst than getting raped by a giant scorpion? Obama

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What did the poor family eat for thanksgiving? Food

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This guys grandma comes to live with him. While shes there she has a stroke. He rushes her to the hospital and waits for her to come out of surgery. The doctor comes out and says "i got good news and bad news" The guy says " give me the bad news" the doctor says "your grandma has had a massive stroke and wont be able to go to the bathroom by herself or eat by herself, so you'll have to feed her baby food and change her Diaper for the rest of her life." So then the guy goes " well shit whats the good news" The doctor goes "Ahh im just kidding she died"

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What's worse than having a gay friend? 9/11.

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A duck walks into a bar and orders 2 beers and a shot. The bartender says "That'll be four fifty." The duck says he doesn't have any money and asks if the bartender can put it on his bill. The bartender says "No." He then picked the duck up by the neck and raped him mercilessly. "That's what he gets" one patron said. "Yeah, he was asking for it"

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Why did the bakery run out of the business? They weren't making enough dough

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What did the foreigners do to pass time? They blew up the twin towers.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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