We could have had it all Rolling in the deep You have my heart inside of your hand As you've just now inexplicably ripped it out of my ribcage.

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yo mama is so hairy she has afros on her nipples

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What did Wonder Woman say to Superman? I'm wonder woman.

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What's John Lennon doing these days? Decomposing.

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What happens when a truck full of mexicans and a truck full of aisians collide? They all die.

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You can pick your ur nose u can pick ur friends u just can't pick ur friends nose.

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When were in a zombie apocalypse I will make sure to save you for 40 days and then I will sacrifice you

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what did the boy with dyslexia get for his birthday? bad grades

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two hippo's were in the lake. The water was up to their eyes. What did one hippo say to the other? I don't know why but i keep thinking it's tuesday.

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A middle aged woman walks into a bar. Its Friday and there is a breeze in the air. She leaves shortly thereafter.

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Two muffins are sitting in a oven, The other muffin says to the other muffin nothing, Because muffins are unable of human conversation.

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A dog walks into a bar, followed by his blind owner.

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Albert <3 Hunter

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My dad calls me a son of a bitch and I'm like "hey! You married her"

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Why did the football player walk so funny? He went to Penn State!

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms. Why couldn't she get up? She had no legs. Why did noone help her up? She was fat.

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Why did the young girl fall off her bike? Because somebody threw a fridge at her.

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Really sorry Red, I did not mean to leave you hanging, and I hope you wont leave me hanging either, I just need my meds or thinks can get ugly, my health, I can tell you and even show you what my condition is, and heck show you my meds, but there are certain things even I wont spread on horsehead network, you know, people are so bitchy here on the internet, and if people knew what I got, yeaaah, I may start getting green thumbs, and I HAAAAAAATE those. Seriously, on a scale of zero (my ass) to ten, how insane do you see me as?

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Harry to Voldemort: Your mother is so fat, her patronus is a cake!

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are you from hawaii? because your the only ten I see

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If 2 trains are going 60 mph, their going in opposite directions towards each other, they are slowing down 1 mile per hour per 10 miles and they are 100 miles away, would you rather have Coke or Pepsi?

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What did the schoolgirl say to some of the people of Anti-Joke.com? You're sick. Stop talking about the Holocaust.

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What's the difference between a gluten free cereal and a regular cereal? One has gluten, and one has no gluten.

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How do you make a person cross the road? Ask them nicely.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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