PLEASE HELP IM TRAPPED IN SOME GUYS HOUSE PLEASE SOMEBODY HAS TO SEE THIS IF I TEXT HE WILL SEE IT IM AT

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What`s the difference between a dead baby and a pencil? I don`t keep a pencil in my backpack

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? Neither has he.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What did Woody say to Buzz? A lot. There were three movies.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What do you call a skeleton in your closet? Evidence of a brutal crime. You should probably call the cops.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why did Carl the cat die? he didnt. he's still alive.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What do you do when you see a plumbers crack. Tell him he has another crack to fill

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What's invisible and smells like carrots? An invisible carrot!

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Knock Knock Whos there Cameron oh

thumb_up thumb_down +15

knock knock who's there? the man the man who? the man who murdered your whole family

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was DEAD! But why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was stapled to the first monkey... But then why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? P-p-p-p-eer pressure

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why did a black man toss a bowl into the air? Because he just got it from the microwave and it was extremely hot.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

My dad died on Mothers Day, my mother was happy. Actually Iied, we were all sad.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

what is purple and smells like poop? very weird looking poop

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What burns like hell? Gonorrhea.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

hey I just met you, and this is crazy. I have alzheimers. Hey i just met you.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Two scientists are experimenting with sulfuric acid. One scientist says to the other, "Did you see the new intern?" In the process of turning to face the first scientist, the second scientist knocks the beaker over and spills sulfuric acid all over the first scientist's hand. The first scientist writhes in pain as the second scientist rushes to find a strong base to neutralize the burn. After a few minutes, the first scientist is rushed off to the emergency room and suffers from some serious chemical burns.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What has four legs in the morning, two legs at noon, and three legs at night? An experimental animal mutilated then exposed to radiation.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

GOODBYE

thumb_up thumb_down +15

guess what? bannanas

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why can't black people swim? Because there are sharks in the lake.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

How was my day, you ask? First of all, I don't own a day. And second of all, it hasn't ended.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

A woman gets into the front seat of a car and starts driving.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why did little Tommy eat an apple? Because he was on a diet

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops