Why did the old man die? He was old.

How was my day, you ask? First of all, I don't own a day. And second of all, it hasn't ended.

A blind man walked into a bar. Quite literally.

What do you call a guy with a puppy, candy, and a windowless white van? You're next baby sitter.

Why didn't the mexican make the basketball team? He had never practiced and was overweight

Knock Knock. Whose there? The IRS. All your base are belong to us.

Whats black and blue and red all over? A housewife that was recently abused by her alcoholic wife. (from will c. and jack f.)

What would you do for a Klondike bar? Pay a reasonable sum of money.

Roses are red Violets are blue Hop in the van or I will rape you

A bartender walks into a bar. I know what you're thinking. You think he works there but that is not correct. He works at a different bar. Anyways, he buys a few drinks and leaves. He was impressed with the service.

Why did anna stop wanting to build a snowman? Beacuse she died of cancer.

A catholic priest and Jerry Sandusky walk out of an elementary school.

why did little johnny start choking? because somebody shoved a bag down his throat

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side

Whats worse than driving a Ford Taurus? Driving two Ford Taurus'

Disreguard Females Aquire Currency

What's as hard as a rock? A rock

A man jumped off a bridge. He went bungee jumping with his family and had a great time.

Just aids, and gonnoreah, and... Jk, I wont type it here, and I am not "suffering" from nothing, its a condition, it can be a struggle, and yeah it could turn fatal, on the bright side its not contagious (its genetics, flawed genetics) but on the bright side, so far chances are greater of me dying from a giant meteor falling on me as I sleep, than from this... Not disease, genetic flaw, take it from a guy that was born without toenails, has two eardrums and some weird tiny holes on his ears (I can send you a pic of those tiny weird holes, they are not weird, kinda cute I been told and can say so myself) so you calm yet?

1,000 people get out of a plane , who hits the ground first? The DEAD guy!!!!

Whats worse than the Holocaust? Anal

Why did Michael Jackson die Cuz

"knock knock" "who's there" "Chuck" "Get out of here Chuck I hate you!"

How do I become successful like you dad? Just do good.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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