How many pairs of underwear do I own? Seventy-nine.

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There's a 4 door kayak going down the street and it loses a wing. How many doughnuts fit in a dog house? And remember its not yellow, because snakes don't have armpits.

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what did the duck say to the other duck Quack

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Why was a white man mowing his lawn ? The lawn was getting undesirably long which provoked the white man.

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What do you call a black man? A normal human being

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What did the orange say to the apple? “To be sentient is truly unbearable without sexual organs.”

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream cone? He got hit by a bus. Why did the bus crash? It hit a boy eating an ice cream cone.

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What's worse than a fly in your soup? Cancer.

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Why was Justin Beiber Booed off the stage. Because I spelt his last name incorrectly.

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Finn: Jake, why can your body do all of those magical things? Jake: What do you mean? Finn: Oh never mind. And they both proceeded to enjoy a delicious breakfast.

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A man finds out he was molested by his father as a child.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I tryed to hang myself But my neck qad to fat

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(Knock, knock) A: Who's there? B: Orange A: That is impossible. Oranges are inanimate objects and, therefore, cannot speak.

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had a good wank over anime yesterday xoxo dylan hodge

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There's a redhead, a brunette and a woman with green hair walking down the street. A man asks them how they all came to have such beautiful and vibrant hair color. The redhead smiles, runs a hand through her hair and replies "It's natural!" The brunette smiles, runs a hand through her hair and replies "It's natural!" The woman with green hair blows her nose, and replies "It isn't natural, I'm rebelling against society's conformist ideals. Also I was not loved enough as a child." She has a cold.

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What's worse than a baby dying of AIDS? It depends upon one's frame of reference. A family living in the US might consider the death of a baby by AIDS a horrible act by the gods. But to a similar family in sub-Saharan Africa, this might be a regular, albeit tragic occurrence.

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Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

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Dennis: you can make anything out of coppersulfate Austin: But copper sulfate can make things out of you

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Wanna hear a joke? It's here somewhere You looked :D There ain't jokes on Antijoke.com

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for christmas? A watch and a pair of socks.

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why did the elephant cross the road? it was the chickens day off.

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How do you make a clown stop laughing? Hit him in the face with an ax.

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Why was the tree sad? Because a bird shat on it.

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People really hate it when sentenses don't end the way elephants wear hats

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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