What did Helen Keller name her dog? ruh-ruh-blah-blah-bluh

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor?

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Q: Why are pine trees green? A: Because of the green pigments in the leaves known as chlorophyll which are used to capture sunlight.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Q: Why God never got a PhD? A: 1. He had only one major publication. 2. It was written in Aramaic, not in English. 3. It has no references. 4. It wasn't even published in a refereed journal. 5. There are serious doubts he wrote it himself. 6. It may be true that he created the world, but what has he done since then? 7. His cooperative efforts have been quite limited. 8. The Scientific community has had a hard time replicating his results. 9. He unlawfully performed not only Animal, but *Human* testing. 10. When one experiment went awry, he tried to cover it by drowning his subjects. 11. When subjects didn't behave as predicted, he deleted them from the sample. 12. He rarely came to class, just told his students to read the book. 13. Some say he had his son to teach the class. 14. He expelled his first two students for learning. 15. Although there were only 10 requirements, most of his students failed his tests. 16. His office hours were infrequent and usually held on a mountain top.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Roses are Grey, Violets are Grey, I am Colorblind...FML

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why did blonde drown? As a child a child she never learned to swim since she did not enjoy swimming.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

There was a blonde, brunette, and a redhead. They are spending a relaxing afternoon together as a result of being restricted to their heavy therapeutic sessions which they are constantly in need of because all three have been diagnosed with clinic depression since everyone jokes about them so much and in conclusion, they don't see each other very often.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Three fish swim into a bar. The first one says "blub blub blub". The second one says "blub blub blub". The third one says "I'm not a fish I'm a human". What does the bartender say? Answer = Ayy Llmao _George_Bush_

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car? Get in the car. -Tag

thumb_up thumb_down -12

what's longer than my shlong? .... nothing

thumb_up thumb_down -12

- How do you save a black man from drowning? - I don't know - Good!

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Cheese

thumb_up thumb_down -12

what is fun to eat but dumb when its alive? A dumb yummy candy

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What do you call a man with no arms in the middle of the ocean? Mike.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

A man walked into a bar. He got drunk and left.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What's 9+10? 19

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Knock Knock Who's there? Bob Bob who? Your neighbor

thumb_up thumb_down -12

A person affected by Alzheimer's is asked a knock knock question- Knock Knock Who's there? Boo Wait what are we doing again?

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What is a pirates favorite crime? Piracy, which is still a serious problem in today's society.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why did the chicken cross the road? If you don't know the answer by now, there's something wrong with you.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why do black people have white palms? Genetics.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Why did the prestigious college accept the Native American student? Trick question, Native Americans don't exist anymore.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

A black guy walks into a bar with a dog. He is asked to leave because his dog is not on a lead.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What does Chuck Norris order at a coffee shop? Coffee.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops