Q: How many babies does it take to paint a wall? A:I don't know i was asking you P.S. leave your answer in the comments below :D

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Why did Suzy fall off the swing? As Suzy neared the ground while swinging, her foot caught a small hole in the swingset's pebble foundation, and the power of Suzy's momentum along with the sudden stop of Suzy's swing forced Suzy to fly forward off of the swing. Suzy, seeing the silliness of her mistake, laughed it off, and tried to get back up. She quickly realized that her leg had snapped in half. Suzy will never walk again.

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"Knock knock?" "Who's there?" "Two dead kittens."

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A squirrel walks up to a tree and says: "I forgot to store nuts for winter, now i am dead."

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How do u get high, meet a leprachaun, and touch a rainbow? U find a leprechaun shoot him, steal his pot, and run up the rainbow silly!

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What do you call a deer with no eyes? Nothing, you should call a local animal rescue number and care to its needs.

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, That's what they tell me because I'm blind.

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Last Christmas, I gave you my heart, But the very next day, I died.

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Why did the man eat the turnip greens? Because he was morbidly obese, and needed to maintain a proper diet.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Chris. Chris who? Wow, I thought we were better friends than that.

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Why do women live longer? Once their sexual and metabolistic hormones are moleculy different from men's, their metabolism is different and act on different organs and vice-versa. Therefore, they live longer. Still, in a worldwide average, more men born than women.

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What kind of doctors would you call A 30 year old chimpanzee? I would say "Plastic surgeon" but that would be unscrupulous to the chimpanzees because the tearing off or "lifting" of the owners face is because they are just animals. And should have never been kept in captivity that long anyways.

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What is the difference between a black person and a pizza? Nothing, they both taste like chicken

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KANE TUCKER HAS A CHODE THE SIZE OF HIS FINGER NAIL

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How many apes does it take to put in a light bulb 3

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knock knock whos there. no one your hullicinating, heroine is hell of a drug

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How do you get four gay guys to sit on one barstool? It's quite difficult, it would be easier to just get 3 more barstools.

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How do you get into USA from mexico? Climb a fence

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. The Clouds are white. Thank God I am too.

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'Knock Knock' "Who's there?" 'Nobody. Your schizophrenia has become so bad you can barely make it through a normal day without emotionally collapsing. Your social life has dissolved into a world of fear, and your personal relationships have crumbled away before your eyes. Major depression and anxiety are eating you away. You have nothing left.'

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Emily Scarpello...Fat Couch

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What do you get when you see a black man writing? A man devoted to getting a education.

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What's got 2 thumbs and a massive penis? A body parts collector I know called Harold Fortescue

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What's sad about this man who committed suicide? He forgot to return his rented DVDs.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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