A handless Asian boy was riding his bike through the park with some friends. One of his friends puts his arms in the air and yells "Look! No hands!" The handless boy rides his bike home, crying and thinking about how one day he would like to say, "Look! No hands!" without people getting nauseous.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

A kid who lost parents is called an orphan and a wife who lost her husband is called a widow. What do you call parents who lost their child? Free on the Weekends.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Roses are red, violets are blue, my name is cartman, kyle you're a jew

thumb_up thumb_down -19

angelo snyder is not ga

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Did you know that there is a species of rodent capable of jumping higher than an average three-story building? This is due to its muscular hind legs and the fact that the average three-story building cannot jump.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Knock, knock. Who's there? Your one and only! Step away from the door, Francheska. You're violating the restraining order.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

How do you make a clown happy then sad? You give him pot then shoot him in the foot

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Roses are Red Violets are Blue Even though I can't tell Because I am color blind

thumb_up thumb_down -19

How many ADD kids does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Let's ride bikes!!

thumb_up thumb_down -19

A man walks to his coathanger and shouts: "I AM GOING TO THE STORE!" his wife says not to because the Rapist 'Eggman' was out again. He says he will be careful. On his way to the store, he hears "They are the Eggmen, I am the Eggen-" but the man shouts "AND I'M THE WALRUS, SO SHUT UP AND GET OUTTA MY FACE OR I'LL KOO-KOO KOO-JOOB YOU AND YOUR CHILDREN!" Rapist and the singer became friends and found two more from Liverpool who were excellent musicians. They formed the band 'The Beatles'. The Eggman shot the Walrus in 1980 after the band's breakup.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was at a crosswalk and the walk light was on.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

How can you treble the value of any Skoda car? Ensure its paintwork, upholstary, floor, lights, wipers, steering wheel, brake, horn, CD player, radio and clutch are clean and/or sound; fill its petrol tank, oil, brake and winscreen wiper fluid reserves; fit a roof rack; include a red triangle, a fire extinguisher, a blanket and a first aid kit in the sale; take out comprehensive insurance and pay a year's road tax and MOT before selling it.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Q: Why is daddy wrestling mommy? A: Well Jimmy, that is called sexual intercourse. That is how you were created, and many people of all ages engage in this activity every second.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Yo mama so old, she must take arthritus medicine to keep out of extreme pain.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why wouldn't Julius Caesar like olives on his pizza? Because he's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

A man walks in to a bar and everyone screamed running out the door.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Allmighty Genie vs Common douche Genie: I the allmighty Genie am at your command, I can grant you any three WISHES Common douche: Okay! I want to sit on my own lap Genie: Uh...Well...You uh sure you want that? I Uh... Wait a moment please... Wimp wins Genieous victory.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Read This line it the tune of "If your happy and you know it" If you're reading this, Do your homework. Sincerely, Your Teacher

thumb_up thumb_down -19

How many jews does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One. It really isn't that hard.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What did Helen Keller say to the little boy with cancer? Hudd Wahher shelper, ghh o.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What Would George Washington say if he were alive to day. why are all the slaves free?

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why did the elderly lady cross the road? Because an atomic bomb was exploding behind her

thumb_up thumb_down -19

A man jumps of the roof of his building. The superindentant now owns the building and the man who jumped off the building has 59 fractures. Oh and he died.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why did the white girl become a lesbian? Because she was raped and had no more trust in the male gender.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops