What does a banana and a helicopter have in common? Neither of them are a police officer.

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Guns don't kill people, books kill trees.

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What's worse than a fake bomb? Do I really have to answer that?

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Why do chickens have feathers? Because chickens are birds and birds have feathers.

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Knock knock. Who's there? To To Who? To Whom.

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Why was the doctor unable to perform his surgery properly? Because he forgot his scalpel

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Knock knock Who's there? Chicken Chicken who? I can't believe you're talking to a chicken

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Why was the black person assassinated behind a drug dealers house? He was purposely shot in the leg and bled out before he could make it to help.

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what is the difference between gravel and dead baby guts? i dont eat gravel.

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What's funnier than a dead baby? A dead baby in a clown suit.

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wanna hear a cat joke? just kitten

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What happened when Glen jumped off a building? The rope snapped his neck. He died.

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(Something terribly disturbing that people find funny)

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What do you do to Jewish people? You Challah at them.

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what do michael Jackson and little boys do in the dark alone? they turn on the flashlight

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really? are people insistantly so totally stupid? Now read that again and you may notice something. :P

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How do you kill a blonde? The blonde you were planning on killing, Bridget, arrives home from a rather tiring run. She lets her hair down from her ponytail, and since it is rather long, it brushes against her round breasts. Even though she is a little sweaty, you realize what a beautiful woman she is, and you decide not to kill here. You instead ask her to marry you, and after she replies "yes", with tears of joy streaming down her face, you two make passionate love in the front seat of your 2011 Cadillac Escalade.

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Why did the student fail his test? He forget to study for it the night before.

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CJISTHEBEST Sticks and stones may break my bones because i have osteoperosis.

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What's 1+1? 69.

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You know what's a real drag? A club foot

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What did the dealer say to the addict? Sup.

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What do you call a man with no arms and legs, lying outside of your house? An ambulance, he's clearly in trouble.

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What do we call the science of classifying living things? Racism

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops