What's worse than getting shot? Getting shot twice

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Why are babies like shake weights? Cause If you shake them long enough, they both end up being inanimate objects.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the chicken is now getting flowers for her dead children that got hit buy multiple cars, also the chicken is a human mother.

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What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot. You racist.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? 'Cause you touch yourself at night;

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What is Hellen Keller's favorite movie? Around the block in 80 days.

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If you have 5 bucks and Chuck Norris has 5 buck you both have 5 bucks

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Dr.Octagonapus.... BLAAAAAArGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Jackalope :)

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What did the pregnant 16 year old get for her birthday? A miscarriage

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Q: What's green and has four wheels? A: A green car.

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A duck walks up to a lemonade stand and says nothing to the man running the stand. Realizing that the duck might potentially keep patrons from approaching the stand, he packs up and moves elsewhere.

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What the difference between a ferarri and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a pile of dead babies in my garage. That would be murder.

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What do you call a black man driving an airplane? A pilot.

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What did the the water hose say to the man? Nothing, but the sight of water made the man thirsty and he drank to excess and died from dilution of his blood.

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Why did the sloth cross the road? To slaughter your entire family.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was late for its laser bypass surgery.

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What do you call a fat cat? Nothing if you are a good person

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, it got ran over by a car.

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Whats two plus two Four!

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Why am I telling you this joke? Because the person who did it before me mentioned that he enterted this, agreed to the Terms of Service and clicked submit - but missed out that he also typed in the capcha. Mine said: never quit.

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write I if you think we should all yell A when dylan says orange.

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What do you call people who play dance dance revolution? Dancers

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Yolo Pierre because of Etzio tickle shits faggatron and individual nut join forces to become the shit suckers

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Q: Why was the american flag red, white, and blue? A:Because that's how it is!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops