Why didn't Joey play with the other kids on the playground? Answer: He was dead

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What do you get when you throw a piano down a mine shaft? A flat minor.

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What did the doctor say to his wife? We have grown apart over the years, I want a divorce.

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Yo momma so fat that they've diagnosed her with type 2 diabetes and she has an extremely elevated risk of heart disease. You should really encourage her to try and eat better and get more exercise.

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Why did the man fall off of his bike? Because he is a Sikh who was mistaken for a muslim after the events of 9/11. His neighbors for 5 years have turned on him and now are throwing rocks at him to alleviate their anger while he is biking to his minimum wage job as a janitor at the local burger king, trying to make money for a family that doesn't love him anymore

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Barbara and Martin died in their apartment. The neighbor walked in and found glass and water everywhere. How did they die? -Barbara and Martin were fish.

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Three drunk llamas wearing sombreros are walking down the street. They walk in silence, lost in their own thoughts.

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Why didnt sally throw out her lunch? Her mom had a miscarriage, she was never born.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? (knocker runs for life).

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why cant the porcupine marry the balloon? ...neither one can talk.. obviously.

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Knock knock. Who's there. To get to the other side.

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Q: What has no color, no shape, no size, and was born in your mind? A: The thought you just had about this anti-joke.

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A man commands his dog to sit. However, his dog is poorly trained, so does not.

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Knock Knock Who's there

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Whats green and miss centowski hates a gas chamber :D lets be friends

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whats the difference between a black man and a cat? you dont run from a cat

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If a red house is made out of red bricks, and a blue house is made out of blue bricks, what is a green house made out of? Green bricks.

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Q: What's so funny about medical records? A: You're not the one dying.

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Why did the catholic preist take all the little boys out in the woods? They were going on a camping trip.

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So there was a guy in the middle of the street, how did he survive? ...He doesnt because he gets hit by a car becuase hes in the middle of the street...

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A blonde, redhead, and a brunette are chatting outside a casino. The brunette directs a joke towards the blonde. "What's the difference between cotton candy and pork chops?" The blonde has heard the joke prior to this encounter and correctly completes it with sign language because she is deaf.

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A man walks into a bar, the bartender says had a bad day the man says yes... he orders 10 shots goes home and shoots his neighbors

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Why didn't the jew spend his paycheck? He wanted to save money for the future

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what is fun to eat but dumb when its alive? A dumb yummy candy

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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