How do you confuse a blond? Paint your self green and throw forks at her.

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How many black people does it take to tar a roof? Just one. Unless he wants to do it in a shorter amount of time and calls a few friends to help him.

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What did the little boy say to his cat? Masturbate on my moms corpse.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Boo. Boo "who"? Boo Radley. I live down the street.

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yo momma is so fat that she contributes to americas obesity problem

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What did Superman say to Batman when they first met? Nothing. They are not real.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It had gotten out of its coop.

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What is more difficult than trying to get blood from a stone? Trying to teach it Japanese in the process. [L]

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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A man felt a pain in his stomach. He went to the doctor.

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Hey I Just Met You , & This Is Crazy , But Here's My Status , So Like It Maybe ?

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Yo mama so fat, her Patronus is a cake.

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Why couldn't Gladice get out of bed? Because she was dead!

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What's the difference between Barney the dinosaur and Santa? Barney Loves you.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Barack Obama. Ok, come on in Mr. President!

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What musical band do you get if you keep shouting while in the mountain? The rolling stones. What do you get if you keep shouting in a snow covered mountain top? Blizzard Entertainment.

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A white man a black man a french man and a mexican are on a sinking ship. The French man says "we have too many of these" and throws a bunch of begets over board. The Black man says "we have too many of these" and throws a bunch of red hot cheetos overboard The Mexican man says "we have too many of these" and throws a bunch of Tacos over board. And then the White man says "we have too many of these" and throws the Mexican man overboard

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How do you make a little boy cry? Cut off his legs.

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A woman who lived alone with her parrot left her apartment to run to the store, forgetting that a plumber was scheduled to come and fix her sink. A few minutes later, the plumber arrived and knocked on the door. The parrot inside called out, "WHO IS IT?" The plumber replied, "it's the plumber. I've come to fix the sink." The plumber waited for a bit and, seeing that nobody was coming to the door, knocked again. The parrot called out, "WHO IS IT?" The plumber replied, a little more loudly, "it's the plumber! I've come to fix the sink!" Again the plumber waited. After a few more minutes, he knocked again. The parrot called out, "WHO IS IT?" The plumber yelled, as loudly as he could, "IT'S THE PLUMBER! I'VE COME TO FIX THE SINK!" Still, nobody came to the door. The plumber banged the door repeatedly, The parrot called out, "WHO IS IT?" The plumber screamed "IT'S...THE...PLUMBER!!! I'VE...COME...TO...FIX...THE...SIIIIIIINK!!!" and then, consumed with rage, clutched his chest and fell over dead from a stress-induced heart attack. A few minutes later, the woman returned home and, while opening her door, noticed the plumber lying dead in her hallway. She looked at her parrot and asked, "Who is it?" The parrot called out, "WHO IS IT?"

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Who let the dogs out? The dog's owner.

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whats the difference between a pizza and a jew? Pizza is not human, Jewish people are.

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How did the mouse die It was eaten by a cat How did the cat die It jumped into the bathtub and drowned

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What did the black kid get for Christmas? An X-box, a sweater and some socks.

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How did the man want his hair cut? In silence.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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