What's the difference between a lawyer and a catfish? The lawyer is a human being whose profession is to give legal advice and assistance to clients and represent them in court or in other legal matters while the catfish is a freshwater or marine fish with whiskerlike barbels around the mouth, typically bottom-dwelling. -BG_Shank_A

thumb_up thumb_down +16

A jumpercable walks in the bar the bartender says ill get you something but dont start anything.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Whats worse than failing an English test? finding out your now exgirlfriend has aids.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why is 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 has AIDS.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

what did the lion tell the jellyfish? nothing, both lions and jellyfishes cant talk, and even if they could the chances of a lion meeting a jellyfish are remote

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What did the clock say to the book? I have no batteries.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What was the racist kid's least favorite ice cream flavor? Chocolate for an unrelated reason.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Yo mamma is so old that she lives in a retirement home for the aged, and will most likely die there in several years.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why did the little girl fall off the swing? a fridge was thrown at her

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why was the blonde on the train tracks? Because she was tied up by a madman on crack.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why couldn't the little seven year old girl paint her finger nails? She fell in front of a train.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

How do you make Lady Gaga cry? Attack her with a sanding machine.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What type of party do you throw when your fat? A baby shower.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

How did the man die? He was killed alive.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

A blonde walked into a hair salon. She got her hair dyed black, as she is sick and tired of jokes that scrutinize those with blonde hair.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What do you call a man whos had his arms ripped off in front of you? An ambulance, because with an injury such as this, you can die anywhere between 10 and 45 minutes

thumb_up thumb_down +16

whats black white and red all over an abused child

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What's the diffence between a pieace of fried chicken and a Jew? A Jew wouldnt scream in a fryer.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What was Hellen Keller's favorite color? Velcro.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What did the man screem before he crashed his car? i dont know, he died.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Seriously, I am going to tell you, but you know, what would you have preferred that it was if you could choose, I am kinda insecure about these things, and people can read these messages so...

thumb_up thumb_down +16

A grasshopper walks into a bar and no one notices because it's just a little insect.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why did Billy fall off the slide? Someone threw a refridgerator at his face.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What do you do when life gives you lemons? Kindly reject the offer and give it back to life.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops