A person was born on may 5th 1955 and one day noticed that they had $555.55 in their bank account. The person went to a race and betted all their money on the 5th runner in the 5th race. What happened? The runner came in 5th place.

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What's more irritating than a half eaten apple? Some prick taking up half the page with shitty copy and past routine.

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what did the lesbian say to the man? I don't like penis

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Q: How many times did the chicken cross the road? A: One and a half.

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Why couldn't the mexican make a taco? He died.

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A guy wearing a top hat walks into a bar. He says, "Ow."

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What do you get if you cross a kangaroo with a sheep? ProtestS from Anti GM activists.

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Whats the difference of how a hot blonde and an ugly red head got in to the same collage with a sex addicted dean? Nothing they were both very smart inteligent women with respectables GPA

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In other news, a Florida man was arrested today for stealing candy...with a knife.

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Spongebob. "Hey Patrick, I thought of something funnier than 24." Patrick "Let me hear it." Spongebob "25"

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What do you call it when Justin Beiber has sex with a woman? Sex

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because the amount of times people reused this joke on this site made her so annoyed much she wanted to hurt herself.

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Whats green and has white spots? Idk im asking you

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What did Jamie get for Christmas? Nothing. Jamie is not friends with Christmas.

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Horse walks into a bar... Bartender says It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from them. So, you should probably leave.

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Why did Sara fall off the swing? -She had no arms *Knock Knock* Who's there? -Not Sara!

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It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from them. So, you should probably leave.

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Why couldn't Jesus get a driver's license? Because automobiles did not exist 2000 years ago.

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Hai Patrick Hai Patrick

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Haikus are easy. But sometimes they don't make sense. Refrigerator.

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You!!!!!! Cause your whole existence is just one big joke.

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Why did the girls ice cream melt? She was on fire.

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Ask me about my wiener. How's your wiener? I don't have a wiener, I'm a woman.

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He--Hey guys

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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