Roses are red Violets are blue I've got to say I hate you!

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From a picture, it is difficult to tell the difference between an apatosaurus and a diplodocus.

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Why did the boy fall off the swing? Because he got shot in the face. Why couldn't the boy get back on the swing? He had no arms. Why didnt his mum come and save him? She is blind, deaf and in a wheelchair.

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How do you call a guy that ran over 10 children A bad driver

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a blind man walks down the street and trips on an unsuspecting curb he scraped his knee

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What part of a vegetable are you not supposed to eat? His wheelchair.

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So mind telling me why you wont call me? And why, you know... Are you avoiding this condition of yours?

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A jewish man walks into a bar, has a drink, and goes home to his wife.

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Q: Where does the queen of england live? A: This was the question I had to anwser to be able to post this joke.

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What's worst than a worm in your apple? Finding your mom in a porno.

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Ok so im on antijoke.com and they tell me i can write my own joke... so i did.

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There once was a man from Nantucket. He was a well respected member of the community.

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why did suzie fall off the swing? she had no arms why did suzie get hit by a bus? she was blind knock knock whos there? not suzie.

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What's worse than finding a hair in lasagna? An earthworm crawling into your ear and feeding on your intestines.

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So Nero, do we tell people your comments are all containing codes and stuff so we can stay in touch?

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Why do black people like Black Friday? They can get fairly expensive appliances for a very reasonable price.

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awkies when jamie and jacob hook up, and u have to tell the dog..i maen danni that this has been going on for 2 months

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What did the rugby post say to the tree? Good evening George!

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What do you call a black man carrying a T.V? Someone that is helping me move.

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A mexican, Japanese, and American man are eating lunch one day at work by the window. The Mexican says, "Wow! If I get a taco one more time for lunch, I'm gonna jump off this window!" The Japanese man says, "Wow! If I get a bowl or ramen one more time for lunch, I'm gonna jump off this window!" The American says" If I get grilled cheese one more time, I'm gonna jump off this window!" The next day, the mexican jumped off because he got a taco. Then, the japanese man jumped off for getting ramen. Then, the American jumped off for getting a grilled cheese sandwhich. At the funeral, the mexican wife said, "Oh if i knew he was gonna jump, I would'nt have packed it." The japanese wife said, "If I knew he was gonna jump, I wouldn't have packed it either." The American wife didn't say anything because she was hit by a bus.

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Why wouldn't Michael J. Fox make a good Sniper? Because he has no military experience.

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A blond is on her way driving to the airport when she sees the sign "Airport left." She made a left turn and got to her flight on time.

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What's more annoying than dyslexic jokes? Jokes were peopel spel words rong.

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Why did Shrek eat the onions? Anyone who has seen the Shrek films would know that Shrek never mentions anything about eating onions. In the first movie, Shrek and donkey have a conversation in which he compares himself to an onion, but the scene lasts maybe a minute and never again does Shrek mention onions in any way, shape, or form. For whatever reason, this one scene has turned onions into the strongest signature icon associated with Shrek.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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