Why did santa cross the road? He didn't he is not real.

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An astronaut and a cosmonaut are sitting in a bar, discussing who was better. The cosmonaut says, "We Russians were the first people in space!" The astronaut says, "That may be true, but we were the first to land on the moon my friend." The cosmonaut turns back to the astronaut and says, "Yes, but we shall be then first to ever land on the Sun!" So, the astronaut skeptically asks, "And how do you intend to do that?" The cosmonaut replies, "Simple.......we will go at night." Thank you to David Cross

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Whats red, black and brown? My anus after a Friday night

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asdasdasdasd

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Penis

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What's the similarities between a spoon and a duck. Both are not a lamp

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Why did the chicken cross the road Time for you to get a watch

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An Englishman an Irishman and a Scotsman walk into a bar... However, it's really busy, so they leave and go to a different bar.

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Your mother is so fat, when she stepped on a scale, it read quite a large number. She resolved to live healthier and exercise more.

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Why did the man go to Lourdes Because he has lost all hope

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How many lesbians does it take to change a lightbulb? One. But after she does this, se will probably have sex with another woman

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Knock knock. ... Knock knock. ... Knock knock. ... The FedEx man leaves, realizing that no one was home, and continues on with his job.

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Jack be nimble, Jack be quick, Jack has a crippling addiction to Cocaine which ultimately led to his divorce and the subsequent loss of custody of his children.

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What did the bad boy get for Christmas? Incurable cancer.

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Here's a joke The Holocaust.

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Why is the old lady crying? I threw a fridge at her.

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So a train conductor is going at 70 mph to to a destination 50 miles away. He goes over 3 hills, one at 20 mph, the other 42 mph, and the last at 63 mph. He crosses 2 bridges at 47 mph each. What did the train conductors mom eat for dinner that night Nothing she had cancer and died.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Find a half-worm.

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A black man and a white man crash their cars. they promptly exchange insurance information and apologize to each other about the inconvenience.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. Incorrect. Violets are violet. DERP!

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Biggest lie in America: Sorry, that was my last stick of gum.

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How do you get a camel out of a desert? a helicopter

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream? He did not have sufficient stability in his arm at that moment causing him to loosen his grip and drop his ice cream.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, You just died, and I'm laughing at you and your extremely ugly face.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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