Why did the chicken cross the road? Because earlier that day, the chicken was taking a shiit, and when he went to wipe, there was no toilet tissue, so he ran upstairs to his parents room, and shot them both with a shotgun, then he ate them while they were still gasping for air, then the neighbors heard the gunshots so they came over to make sure everything was alright, but little did they know that the chicken planned for it and they were electricuted to a crisp by the fence, oh yeah, why did the chicken cross the road? Because the store for chips was across the street

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Why didn't Michael J. Fox feel the Virginia earthquake? He was on vacation in Maui.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Man goes to doctor, says he's depressed. The world is bleak and hopeless and life just isn't worth living. The doctor thinks for a second then smiles. "Treatment is simple he says, the great clown Pagliacci is in town. Go see him, that should pick you up." The man bursts into tears, sobs hysterically like a child, "But doctor," he says. "I am Pagliacci."

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Your mom is so fat that she has diabetes and if she does not stick to her medical diet, her foot will be removed, but she started binge eating because of you in the first place, and if you don't straighten our your life, you will inadvertently be the cause of your mothers death.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

A man walks into a bar. He orders a drink.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

I like to give help to people, expecting that they will be my slaves for life.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

awkward moment when someone pretends to be Mr. Bear and stuffs up his own joke

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Kindness is like peeing in your pants, Everyone can see the results, but only You can feel the warmth

thumb_up thumb_down -33

write I if you think we should all yell A when dylan says orange.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

knock knock whos there? dave dave who ? dave starts to cry because his grandmothers oldtimers has restricted her from remembering her grandson dave.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Why did the college student post unfunny anti-jokes on anti-joke.com? Because he was bored shitless.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Knock knock Who's there? Justin Bieber OH MY GOD REALLY?! No.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Q. What's big, green, has four legs, fuzzy, and if fell out of a tree would kill you? A. A pool table

thumb_up thumb_down -33

haha

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Yo mama is so fat she lost 100 pounds and now she's not fat.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

What do you call a black man that can steal, shoot, and jump? A basketball player.

thumb_up thumb_down -35

What's the difference between a pile of rotting shit about to be re-heated in the microwave and Kevin James's new movie "The Zookeeper" ... Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down -35

Why did blonde cross the road? She needed to get to work.

thumb_up thumb_down -35

You know you're a redneck when you come from a rural area and behave as such.

thumb_up thumb_down -35

there's a new drink out called the Bin Laden... it consists of two shots and a splash of water

thumb_up thumb_down -35

What did George Bush say when 9/11 happened? "Silly pilots! The airport isn't in a building!"

thumb_up thumb_down -35

What do you say to the woman who just got raped? Nothing you just raped her

thumb_up thumb_down -35

Your mom's so ugly that after being ridiculed for for year she became very self conscience and killed herself. Her family was very sad for many years.

thumb_up thumb_down -35

What did the pirate order for breakfast? Pancakes.

thumb_up thumb_down -35

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops