Roses are red Violets are blue The other color on our flag is white I'm an American and rhyming doesn't matter

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Why don't you make like a tree, and get out of here.

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What starts with F and ends with U-C-K? Firetruck

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was Hellen Keller.

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Your Mom is so fat.... When she's goes to McDonald's and orders 3 Big Macs the people standing in line behind her all look at her with disgust and a tinge of pity.

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Hurr durr, I shit my pants.

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Do you know what really hurts my feelings? Nerve damage.

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A Higgs Boson walks into a church, and the priest says, "We don't allow Higgs Boson's in here," and the Higgs Boson says, "But I thought Christianity promised acceptance to everyone who believes."

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Q: why didn't the asian boy ask for a calculator? A: you don't need calculators to make shoes

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What do mario and luigi have in common They are both plumbers

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if you have 5 oranges and 15 ice cubes, how many pancakes can you fit on the roof? red, because aliens dont wear shirts.

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What's worse that tripping over on your way home from work? Finding your entire family murdered

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how do you confuse a blonde do nothing

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'How do you make a plumber cry? Buy him a belt for Christmas.

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What's the difference between a duck and a bicycle? They both have handlebars. Except for the duck.

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A woman has sex with an Asian man, then a white man, and then a black man. She chooses to be in a relationship with the black man because he is prepared for the responsibilities of a relationship and the other two men, though both are well endowed, are not ready.

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Q: What is better than Vagina? A: Nothing

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Why was the little boy sad? Both of his parents died in a tragic car accident.

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josh- your a strange boy. liam- yes. due to by up bringing i have been exposed to unusual situations that most people do not encounter therefore affecting how i behave. Secondly the definition of normal is varying from person to person making being normal to every human being difficult to even the most capable of people. Essentialy Josh i care little for you comment. *josh was a black man who died of cancer 6 weeks after this incodent*

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Why did Tommy fall off the swing? Because he had no arms. Knock knock Who's there? Not Tommy.

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If life gives you lemonade.

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12 in general

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A Polish immigrant goes to the Department of Motor Vehicles to apply for a driver’s license. He has to take an eye test. They show him a card with the letters C Z W I X N O S T A C Z. “Can you read this?” the optician asks. “Read it?” the Polish guy replies, “No, sir. Allow me to put on my glasses."

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MR MCANN WHAT COLOUR IS YOUR PUBES ?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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